Twenty-three years ago, I walked into a market in St. Petersburg, Russia, tried to buy cheese. I thought I was doing great. I confidently picked out what I wanted, and approached the counter. The problem was that I didn’t actually know how to ask for how much cheese.

Death Readiness Dispatch

April 22, 2026

Hi there,

 

Twenty-three years ago, when I was a student studying abroad in St. Petersburg Russia, I walked into a market, and tried to buy cheese. I thought I was doing great. I confidently picked out what I wanted, and approached the counter. The problem was that I didn't know how to ask for how much cheese in Russian.

 

So I nodded, smiled and watched as the person behind the counter cut a block of cheese that looked like it belonged in a restaurant kitchen, not my host mother’s refrigerator.

 

And of course, I pretended that’s exactly what I meant to order. I didn’t know how to ask for what I really wanted, and that’s what I see all the time in estate planning.

 

The conversations are in English, but it might as well be a different language. And if you don’t know what you’re asking for, you can end up with something very different than what you intended.

 

This week’s Tuesday Triage question came from Ike in Michigan:

 

It’s a great question and one I hear all the time. Even though these two documents do completely different jobs, they get confused constantly.

 

Here’s the simplest way to think about it:

A living will answers questions like:

A last will answers questions like:

And they’re both really important.

There’s also a new Michigan court decision that makes this conversation even more important.

 

Until recently, Michigan law required that a pregnant patient’s documented end-of-life wishes would not be respected if those wishes would result in the patient’s death. A court just struck down that restriction.

 

Which means, at least for now, a pregnant patient’s expressed wishes, and the decision of the person they chose to speak for them, controls.

This isn’t just about documents. A living will gives the people in the hospital room direction. A last will gives your grieving family structure when everything feels uncertain. And both give them the confidence that they’re getting it right.

I’ve got an upcoming episode with my financial advisor, Blair Martin.

 

If you’ve ever wondered:

Hit “reply” and send me your questions.

Thanks for being here.