Pride does not feel the same for everyone.

 

You can be standing in the middle of the music, the rainbow flags, the beautiful bodies, and the laughter spilling onto the sidewalk, and still feel a private question rise in your chest: Am I celebrated here, or merely included? It is strange to feel lonely in a crowd built around liberation.

 

Many of us do love Pride. We love the color, the flirtation, the survival in full volume. We love seeing queer people take up public space with theatrical defiance: “We are here, we have lip gloss, and we will not be parking in the back.”

 

But for many Black gay men, Pride carries a complication that does not fit neatly on a parade float. We know what it means to be visible and still not fully seen. Desired without being understood. Included without being centered. Admired without being protected. Celebrated when we arrive polished, witty, resilient, and emotionally convenient.

 

That is why June asks something deeper of us.

 

In the same month that we celebrate Pride, we also honor Juneteenth. One celebration calls us toward visibility. The other reminds us that freedom has never arrived evenly in this country. Juneteenth celebrates liberation, but also remembers delayed freedom and the gap between what has been declared and what has actually been lived.

 

 

For Black gay men, that line holds weight. We know divided belonging. Too Black in some gay spaces. Too gay in some Black spaces. Too masculine for one room, too soft for another. Strong when people need us to be inspiring, invisible when we need care ourselves.

 

So perhaps the question this June is not whether we should celebrate. We should. Black gay joy is not a luxury. It is medicine. It is the chosen brother who notices when you have gone quiet. The dance floor that reminds your body it still belongs to you.

 

But joy becomes more honest when it has room for truth.

 

What would Pride feel like if Black gay men did not have to perform confidence to be welcomed? What would freedom look like if we could be soft without apology, sensual without shame, aging without disappearance, and tired without proving our strength first?

 

Freedom is not only a flag, a parade, a holiday, or a well-designed flyer with excellent fonts. Freedom is having somewhere to bring your whole self. Freedom is being known beyond your public face. Freedom is having people who can hold both the sparkle and the struggle.

 

So this June, let us celebrate. Let us laugh loudly, dress beautifully, eat well, flirt wisely, and drink water like grown men. But let us also ask better questions. Where have we mistaken visibility for belonging? Where are we being invited to the party but not into the power? Where can we build the freedom our younger selves needed and our elders deserved?

 

Because Pride is beautiful. Juneteenth is sacred. And Black gay freedom is still something we are claiming, creating, and learning how to live.

We had a very successful Brothers of the Desert Wellness Summit in March this year with over 250 people in attendance. We heard from dynamic keynote presenters, Keith Boykin, Harold Phillips, Nii-Quartelai Quartey and Yolo Akili Robinson. Participants chose from a total of 12 different workshops at three different times throughout the day led by an impressive group of presenters. Topics included sexual health, the healing power of Black music, intergenerational communication and mentorship, Black LBGTQ history, the meaning and history of Ballroom culture, inspiration and resilience from our Black women allies, reclaiming Divinity, Black land loss, transformational leadership and more. 

 

We want to share this brief video that highlights the event, the feeling, and the impact our Wellness Summit makes. We are beginning to plan for our 8th annual Wellness Summit for 2027 and will announce the date soon. Please let us know if you would like to support, attend, or have ideas for presenters or presentation topics for next year by emailing Tim Vincent at president@brothersofthedesert.org

 

Enjoy!

 

 

Brothers of the Desert is excited to continue our monthly discussion group called Barbershop: A Black Gay Men’s Space for Honest Talk About Wellness, now in our second year!

 

Building upon the tradition of barbershops in Black communities, the discussion group is designed to encourage open and honest conversation. The meetings are welcoming a spectrum of Black men, gay, bisexual, transgender and nonbinary. The wellness topics discussed are diverse, ranging from dating and intimacy, aging considerations, how we get and offer support, and exploring our identities as Black men.

 

The group meets the second Tuesday of each month from 5:30-7:00 PM. There is no charge to attend. We begin with a meet and greet with dinner that begins at 5:30PM and the discussion group starts at 6PM. The group is facilitated by Stuart Huggins and Will Dean.

 

To register to attend the meetings email: willdean.boardmember@brothersofthedesert.org

For questions email Tim Vincent at president@brothersofthedesert.org

 

Brothers of the Desert members meet monthly to discuss recent and upcoming events, share updates on the organization, celebrate our accomplishments, and have an opportunity to connect with new and existing members.

 

Join us for our Monthly Members & Allies Lunch at Peruvian Fuego!

Both members and allies are welcome to attend (Cash and Carry).

RSVP with DavidMaurice.Jones@gmail.com before June 12, 2026.

Palm Springs, CA, 92262

 

Named one of the BEST LGBTQ+ Food, Wine and Spirits Festivals in the U.S. by Wine Enthusiast, the Palm Springs EQUALITY WINE & FOOD FEST returns to the Hyatt Palm Springs, bringing together some of the world’s finest vintners, featuring LGBTQ+, BIPOC, and Women-owned and/or produced wines. Festival-goers will enjoy over 100 wines, food samples, live entertainment, a silent auction, and VIP experiences, all creating an environment that fosters community among everyone involved in enjoying every sip and bite. Your generous support will help elevate diverse talent, foster community, and bring these important conversations to the forefront, while supporting forward-thinking charities.

Brothers of the Desert is honored to be a beneficiary of this meaningful event!

Ring in the New Year celebrating Harlem Renaissance (Dandy Style).

 

Spend time with The Brothers of the Desert at our annual gala and fundraiser to support our scholarship and other programs.

 

📅 When: December 31, 2026
🕠 Time: 5:30 PM – 10:00 PM
📍 Place: DoubleTree Hotel and Resort, Cathedral City

 

Celebrate an unforgettable evening of culture, community, and giving as we welcome the New Year in style.  Visit our website www.brothersofthedesert.org for updates on the event.

There is a moment, somewhere between the second knee making a sound it did not used to make and realizing you now need readers for the menu, when aging stops being theoretical.

 

For Black gay men, aging can bring a very specific set of questions. Some are practical. Who will care for me if I need help? Where will I live? Have I saved enough? Who has the keys, the passwords, the medical directive, the emergency contact information?

 

And some questions are quieter.

Will I still be desired?
Will I still be invited?
Will I still be seen?
Will anyone notice if I disappear from the usual places?

 

We do not talk about this enough.

 

Gay culture can be wonderfully alive, stylish, funny, flirtatious, and full of reinvention. It can also be brutally youth-focused. Black communities can be deeply rooted in family, resilience, spirituality, and care. They can also be complicated places for gay men who have spent a lifetime negotiating how much of themselves they could safely bring home.

 

So aging while Black and gay can sometimes feel like preparing for a future in which none of the old systems quite fit.

 

Many of us have had to build chosen families because our biological families were loving, but limited. Or loving, but silent. Or silent in a way that taught us not to ask for too much. Many of us have spent decades being strong, independent, fabulous, productive, resilient, and “fine,” which is a very elegant word people use when they are one inconvenience away from unraveling.

 

But aging asks us to be more honest.

 

It asks us to think beyond the next event, the next trip, the next romance, the next carefully lit photo where the jawline is still cooperating. It asks: What kind of life are we building underneath the performance of having it all together?

 

Who are our people, really?

 

Who can we call when we are sick? Who knows what we want if we cannot speak for ourselves? Who are we mentoring? Who are we allowing to mentor us? Who gets our stories, our history, our tenderness, our recipes, our cautionary tales, and our deeply unnecessary opinions about music?

 

Preparing for aging is not only about fear. It is about stewardship. It is about creating circles of care before crisis forces the issue. It is about housing, healthcare, estate planning, companionship, pleasure, dignity, and community. It is about refusing to become invisible to ourselves.

 

Aging while Black and gay asks us to build what we may not have inherited.

 

And perhaps that is the invitation.

 

Not just to survive longer, but to belong deeper. Not just to be admired as elders one day, but to be supported as human beings now. Not just to prepare for decline, but to prepare for intimacy, softness, wisdom, care, and the kind of brotherhood that does not expire when the party ends.

 

The future is coming, knees and all.

 

The question is: are we preparing to meet it alone, or together?