25 Years: What I've Learned ❤️

Celebrating 25 Years Together

This week marks 25 years.

I'm not saying that as a flex. A lot of years can pass in a marriage without meaning very much — I've watched it happen to people I love. So I'm not here to wave the number around.

I'm saying it because 25 years is long enough to actually know something. And what I know is that it didn't happen by accident.

When we got married I thought I understood partnership. I didn't. Not really. I had a feeling for it, some instincts, a lot of hope. The knowing came after.

Here's WHAT I KNOW NOW

We're actually friends.
Not in the way people say that as a formality. He's the person I want to tell things to. We laugh — a lot, still — and that has carried more weight than I can explain.

He shows up for our kids the same way he shows up for us.
Equal parenting. Not as a negotiation, not because I asked. He changed diapers. He's at the important moments and the small ones too. I can't overstate what that does for a marriage. It changes the whole architecture of it.

We almost never yell at each other.
We're not perfect at conflict — I'm a natural communicator, he isn't. That gap is real and we've had to work with it. We rarely raise our voices at each other. Me maybe a little more than him — what can I say, I've got a little extra fire in my belly.

I've had to learn that saying your truth isn't the same as communicating.
Being a natural communicator doesn't automatically make you a good one. There's a real difference between sharing what you feel and transferring it onto your partner. I've had to work on that. Still am.

He finds me amusing.
The things that frustrated other people in my life — he finds funny. I've always been accepted as I am. Not tolerated. Actually seen. That's the thing that holds everything else together.

25 years of choosing each other. Not every day is easy.

But it's always worth it.

If you're looking at your own relationship and thinking — I want a little taste of that —

reach out here

Evanston Drive
Toronto, Ont. M3H5P3, Canada