In every moment you are choosing easy now, hard later or hard now, easy later. One leads to chronic stress, the latter leads to increased capacity, high performance, and a fulfilled life.

 

Hard now, easy later is a core principle we choose to live by, but let us share a story about how that actually looks in real life ⬇️

 

Last week we REALLY didn't want to do our family meeting. Like, really did not want to.

 

But we poured a glass of wine, decided to actually enjoy it, and did them anyway. Still in bed by 10pm.

 

Instead of going to bed with the stress of knowing we didn't do what we needed to do, we went to bed with peace.

 

Because here's what skipping it would have actually cost us:

 

→ A week spent reacting instead of leading

→ That quiet resentment that builds between partners of "I'm pretty sure I'm carrying more than you"

→ Conversations that are more logistical than connective

→ Disconnection and lack of intimacy dressed up as being busy

 

Instead, we went to bed knowing exactly what our priorities are this week, who owns what, what we're consciously choosing not to do, when we're protecting fun and quality time — with meals planned, finances reviewed, and minds clear.

 

This is what stress mastery actually looks like. Not doing it when you feel like it. Doing it because you understand the choice you're really making.

 

In every moment, you're choosing between hard now or harder later.

 

Skipping the meeting is easy now → harder later when you've spent a week reacting and your relationship feels like a business arrangement.

 

Ignoring your body is easy now → harder later when you have to stop your life to fight for your health.

 

Just "keeping going" is easy now → harder later when you've burned yourself to the ground and you're giving 50% of what you're capable of.

 

Avoiding the conversation is easy now → harder later when the resentment has built and the relationship is fraying.

 

The wine helped us get started. The peace at the end reminded us why we keep choosing hard now.

 

Where in your life are you choosing easy now, hard later? How can you choose different this week!

People ask us what's really on the table in these meetings. Last night, it was:

 

1. The gap between having a budget and actually sticking to it. 😳 Our entertainment budget has been out of control between everything going on with the new house and lots of visitors. So we named it, dug into it to discover if it was an us problem, a budget problem, or something else entirely. We actually aren’t sure yet, but what we did discover is we aren’t being proactive with scheduling quality time, so we end up doing what’s easy & that usually includes spending money on food and drinks. This week we planned time together & with friends that didn’t revolve around food and drinks to see how that works…we’ll keep you updated!

 

2. Planning for quality time. Together, individually, and with friends. Not "we'll find time." Actual time, on the calendar.

 

3. Alignment on the week ahead. What's your capacity? What's mine? Where do we support each other, and where do we need to call in reinforcements — a cleaner, food prep, whatever it takes to protect what matters? 

 

4. Checking the family scorecard. Where are we against the goals we actually care about — savings per week, workouts, Andrew's golf, Stacy's pottery and working out of the house, our adventure dates, and training/logistics for our next big adventure, hiking the TMB.

 

None of it is complicated. All of it simply needs to space to exist.

 

Try this out and share your stories with us!

 

Fun Fact: I (Stacy) cried at every family meeting for the first 3 months we did them. That wasn't because it wasn't working, it's because it was. I was so used to trying to carry everything on my own that my nervous system wasn't used to being open, honest, vulnerable, & supported…yet. The only way I was going to rewire my system was to keep showing up despite the discomfort, especially when I didn't want to. We traded temporary discomfort for long term peace & I am SO glad we fought through it. So if this feels horribly scary for you, you're not alone, but we're going to ask you to do it anyways. ✌️

 

You've got this! See y'all next week!

P.S. — This will always come from andrewandstacy@thegissalletter.com. Add us to your contacts so we don't end up in spam. We'd hate for you to miss it.