Hi First name / Slothy!, 

 

I'm reading The Courage to Be Disliked, and I finally understand why everyone recommends it.

 

One line recently stopped me cold: 

 

 

This line introduces the concept the author calls task separation. 

 

Which essentially boils down to we all have tasks that only we can complete. And much of our struggle with others happens when we take on tasks that aren't ours. 

 

The author then goes on to share that before you get stressed about a situation, ask one question: whose task is this? If it's not yours, you can guide and remind, but you can't do it for them. Only the person responsible can actually get it done. 

 

Separation of tasks sounds like pretty basic advice, until you start thinking of all the ways you're interfering with others' tasks. I'll share a few examples of this that have come up recently. Let me know which one ( if any) you see yourself in.

 

Example 1: I keep telling myself I want to grow my business, but it's soooo hard. Which, yes, growing a business is challenging, but it's not impossible. Entrepreneurs do it every day. The difference between those who grow and those who don't is that they stop feeding into the story they're telling themselves and make the change they want to see. 

 

For me, I always thought getting people to notice my work was hard. But that's not actually true. What's hard is admitting I'm afraid to be seen. I over-edit every word I write and say. Sometimes I'll spend hours on something, and it never sees the light of day. But then I have courageous days! Where I throw caution to the wind, and I hit send, post, or publish.

 

 And on those days, guess what happens?! 

I grow! More followers, more subscribers, more clients, and more opportunities. 

 

Example 2: For my non-entrepreneurs: I watched this play out with two women in my circle. 

 A family member spent a majority of our family vacation stressed about whether everyone else was having a good time and was taken care of. She vented to me that she feels like she can never have fun or enjoy herself. Similarly, my best friend traveled without her kid for the first time and spent the trip calling the family babysitter out of guilt. These calls only made everyone involved sadder and more stressed. She vented to me about how she's not enjoying this really expensive getaway and is unsure how to get out of this funk. 

 

So in true Savvy Sloth fashion, I had to drop some unsolicited advice and share what I learned about task separation. 

 

Their task was to enjoy the trip, and the more they carried everyone else's experience, the harder it made their own. Their task was to rest and fill their cup. That's the point of a trip! So that when you return to your usual life, you feel taken care of. Sometimes, as women, the easier option is to worry about others. Either because it's our default setting or because it's harder to face the inner work we've been neglecting. 

 

But I share all of this to remind you that sometimes life can be as simple as you want it to be. 

 

Sometimes the answer is the thing you're wishing for: enjoy the trip, have fun, say what comes to mind. That's usually your task that you're stalling on for whatever reason. Sure, someone may be inconvenienced, annoyed, or dislike it, but that's none of your business. That's their task! They need to figure out why you being yourself bothers them so much. 

 

So here's the nudge for whatever feels hard right now. 

 

Figure out what you want and then see whose task it actually is. If it's not yours, you have to let it go. If it is yours, that's the one thing worth putting your energy into.

XOXO,
Renee

If your business only lives in your head, no one else can actually take work off your plate. 

 

This week's post shows how the right Asana setup gives your team a shared system to run on, so delegation finally sticks, handoffs don't drop anything, and your day stops depending on your memory.

Two important updates for you this issue!

A few things bringing me clarity, ease, and sustainable success this week: