When I was a kid, I sometimes played racquetball with my dad. I was incredibly competitive, and I loved beating him. What I didn’t know was that my dad normally played racquetball left-handed. Whenever he played against me, though, he used his right hand, his non-dominant hand.

Death Readiness Dispatch

August 12, 2026

Hi there,

 

When I was a kid, I sometimes played racquetball with my dad. I was incredibly competitive, and I loved beating him. What I didn’t know was that my dad normally played racquetball left-handed. Whenever he played against me, though, he used his right hand, his non-dominant hand.

 

For years, he kept that little detail to himself. He imagined eventually revealing the truth and watching me realize that all those childhood victories weren’t quite what I thought they were. At one point, he even considered keeping the secret for the rest of his life and recording a video for me to watch after he died.

 

Fortunately, he got impatient. He finally told me one day when I was an adult. My response? “Oh.” Not exactly the dramatic reaction he had been imagining. Maybe that’s the problem with planning a big reveal for after you die. Reality rarely follows the script. 

 

The same is true of one of Hollywood’s favorite estate planning scenes: the reading of the Will. The lawyer opens the Will. Everyone waits. Someone discovers they inherited everything, another discovers they’ve been disinherited. There are gasps, tears and probably some expletives. Except there’s just one problem.

 

That’s not how it works in real life. So who actually “reads” the Will? You do. To yourself. Probably at your kitchen table.

 

When I handle a probate estate, one of the first things I need is the original Will. Then I gather the information necessary to open the probate estate and ask the court to appoint the person named as Executor. The Will gets filed with the probate court.

 

Beneficiaries, and sometimes heirs-at-law, receive copies of the court paperwork and the Will. So instead of sitting in a stately law office waiting for an attorney to make a dramatic announcement, you may be sitting at your kitchen table with an envelope, a 30-page legal document, and a lot of questions.

Your Will Isn’t the Boss of Everything

Here’s another myth worth correcting: Your Will does not necessarily tell you who receives everything you own. A Will controls only your probate assets. Life insurance, retirement accounts, investment accounts and other assets with beneficiary, payable-on-death or transfer-on-death designations may pass completely outside the Will.

 

So a Will could say, “I leave everything to Sarah,” while Sarah receives very little because most of the deceased person’s property passes another way.

 

Want to see how that works? I created a simple infographic showing the difference between probate and non-probate assets, and which ones your Will actually controls. Your Will is important, but it’s only one piece of your estate plan.

Don’t Save the Good Stuff for the Will

This week, I explain:

✅ What actually happens to a Will after someone dies
✅ Who receives a copy of the Will
✅ Why an heir-at-law and a beneficiary aren’t necessarily the same person
✅ What it really means when we say a Will becomes “public record”
✅ Why you may read the Will and still have no idea what someone actually owned
✅ And why the Will may control only a small piece of someone’s estate

There’s also a bigger lesson tucked into this episode. We sometimes expect estate planning documents to communicate things they really weren’t designed to communicate. A Will is a legal document. It transfers probate assets, nominates an Executor and gives instructions a court can enforce.

 

It’s not the best place to explain why you made a decision or to leave one last message for someone you love. So if there’s something important you want your family to know, don’t save the big reveal for after you die. Tell them now.

Make Sure the Whole Plan Works Together

If you're in Tennessee and you have a Will, great. But here’s the next question: Do you know what it actually controls? I don’t want you to have a beautifully drafted Will that says one thing while your beneficiary designations and account titles say something else.

 

When I work with estate planning clients, we look at the whole picture: what you own, how it’s titled, who you’ve named as beneficiaries, and where everything will actually go when you die. The goal is to have an estate plan where all the pieces are telling the same story.

Thanks for being here.

PS: This is my summer office: my childhood bedroom in the Adirondacks. It later became my mom’s bedroom while she was ill, and now, for a couple of months each year, it’s where I record podcasts, draft estate plans, meet with clients, attend court hearings, and run my law practice.

 

There’s no corner office or floor-to-ceiling windows. But there is a lake outside, the occasional loon call, and usually a dog or three asleep nearby. Turns out, that’s plenty.