Everyone else is sorted. What about you now?

Hi friend,

Uggh…that empty seat in the car.

There’s something about that moment after you drop your child at college and drive away. You spend nearly 19 years getting them ready to leave.

And then one day, you pull out of the parking lot and realize you can hear your own thoughts again.

I’m not quite there with all of mine. My oldest is already in college, my second son is taking a gap year before he leaves next year (phew but will be hitting the road exploring), and I still have a 9th grader very much at home.

But I can feel things changing.

And September seems to make those changes more obvious.

Kids go back to school. Some leave for college. Summer ends. Work ramps back up. Everyone seems to be heading somewhere.

And it got me thinking...

What about us?

Not just mothers sending children off to college.

Maybe your kids are still at home. Maybe they’re grown. Maybe you don’t have children at all.

Because I think there’s something bigger going on for a lot of women at this stage of life.

We’ve spent years building careers, raising families, supporting partners, caring for parents, managing homes, showing up for friends, being the person people can count on.

Our attention has been pulled outward for a very long time.

And then something starts to shift.

Maybe there’s suddenly more space.

Or maybe there isn’t any more space at all, but you’re realizing you want to start claiming some anyway.

That’s the part I’m driven by.

Because it’s incredibly easy to fill every available inch again.

More work. More responsibilities. More helping. More doing.

But what if we didn’t?

What if some of that attention started coming back to us?

Maybe it’s our turn too..

This months insight

September isn’t only about everyone else getting back to their lives. It’s a chance to come back to yours. I don’t think we suddenly wake up one morning and realize we’ve lost touch with ourselves.

I think it happens quietly.

We become so used to asking:

What do they need?

Where do they need to be?

How can I help?

What needs to get done?

That somewhere along the way, we stop asking some pretty basic questions about ourselves.

What do I need and want?

What am I excited about now?

And maybe the biggest one...

Who am I now?

Not who I was 10 or 20 years ago. I don’t want to go backwards.

And not only Mum, partner, employee, daughter, friend, caregiver or the person everyone can rely on.

I have conversations with women every week who know something needs to shift, but they can’t quite name what. They just know they want more.

More purpose, energy, fun, meaning…more of themselves in their own lives.

And I don’t think the answer is necessarily some enormous reinvention. You don’t need to quit your job, move countries or suddenly know exactly what you want the next 10 years to look like.

Start smaller. Start paying attention to yourself again.

Because whether some space has opened up in your life or you’re going to have to deliberately make it...

I don’t want us to automatically give it away.

3 WAYS TO START COMING BACK TO YOU

1. NOTICE WHAT YOU KEEP DISMISSING

That thought that keeps coming back.

I’d love to...
I miss...
I’ve always wanted to...
I wish I had more...

And then comes: I don’t have time. That’s unrealistic. Maybe later.

Before you dismiss it, just notice it.

What keeps getting your attention? What gives you energy? What are you jealous of? Yes, even that.

There are clues in there.

2. UPDATE WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT

What matters more now?

What matters less?

What have you outgrown?

Sometimes we're still making choices for a version of ourselves that doesn't completely exist anymore.

You're allowed to change the brief.

3. MOVE BEFORE YOU KNOW

This is the one I come back to again and again with my clients. Stop waiting to be completely clear before you do anything.

Send the email. Research the idea. Have the conversation. Go to the event. Talk to someone doing something that interests you. Try the thing. Then pay attention.

Did it energize you?

Did you want more?

Did you discover it's absolutely not for you?

All of it is useful information.

Clarity very rarely arrives while we're sitting around waiting for it. We learn what we want by moving toward things, trying them, noticing what happens and choosing the next step. One move. Start there.