Hi First name / Friend,
There's a place between where you are now and where you want to be.
You can't see it. But it's there, between these two photographs.
On the left, a photograph you'll see an old version of me, off my face on drugs and alcohol, at an exclusive private DJ set with Mike Skinner of The Streets, a huge UK Garage band.
The photograph on the right was made 10 years later. Me and my sister, arms held high in triumph, as we cross the finish line with 60,000 runners + Mo Farah at the Great North Run.
There was a time I couldn't even imagine that I would be fit and healthy, let alone cross the finish line of the largest Half Marathon in the world.
What I knew in 2013 was that I didn't want to be the person who is off her face on drugs and alcohol at private parties. I did not want to be her.
I just didn't know how to stop being her.
What I discovered tuned out to be a very simple solution.
In order to change my identity, I had to first be willing to let go of the identity of myself as someone who partied hard.
Simple. I didn't say it was easy though.
It was difficult. For a while I felt very lost, adrift in what we call the River of Misery.
It's a place that feels as awful as it's name sounds. But, if we are to reach the far shores, the place we want to be, being the person we want to be, then we must wade through these difficult waters.
I stopped drinking. I stopped taking drugs, I stopped smoking. I'd based a large part of my identity around these behaviours, and my ego was mad that I was letting it go.
Your ego will be too, if you try to change.
The same way a little kid is mad when it doesn't get it's own way. But mature adult parents don't give in to the little kid. And neither do we to a tantrum-ing ego.
I had this idea to become someone who was quite excellent, who had a remarkable life. She was happily married, had her own business, had a great relationship with her daughter, who ran marathons and was fit and healthy.
I took up running. I wanted something to do that would feel better than a hangover on a Tuesday.
And since that private party, I've completed multiple half marathons and four marathons.
Nothing about my journey to become an excellent person was easy. Simple, yes. Easy, no way. But I have the privilege of a highly evolved prefrontal cortex, like you do First name / my friend, that I can use to generate better feeling thoughts, useful emotions and the ability to go the distance.
I want you to join me as that journey continues, because we are going places you never imagined, and you don't want to get left behind.
Take this as your sign and
come talk to me for free about how working together will take you from where you are, through the River of Misery, to the dry shores of where you want to be.
