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Dearest First name / One,

 

As the season turns towards Autumn here in Ireland, it signals the beginning of the busiest month in my childless calendar - September - both with my role as an Ambassador for World Childless Week, now in its 10th year, and travelling to England to speak at the StoryhouseCHILDLESS festival, now in its 6th year (or maybe its 7th?!) I am pleased and proud to have been part of both initiatives since their beginnings, and I love how they now feel embedded in my year. However, we can never take these things for granted: StoryhouseCHILDLESS is generously funded by the charitable trust behind the Storyhouse theatre (it costs a huge amount of effort and cash to put such things on, which is not reflected in the ticket price); and World Childless Week has been running each September for ten years due to the huge efforts of just one woman, Stephanie Joy Phillips, who does so without pay and without any admin support. There's a reason there isn't ‘more’ out there for us… and it's not for lack of need. 

 

This brings me to a conversation I was having this week with a childless journalist as she researched her book, and the look of shock on her face when I told her that in my fifteen years of running Gateway Women, no philanthropist or donor had ever come forward to offer me/us any support. And I know from my time on the board at AWOC (Ageing Without Children) how unbelievably hard it was to secure funding. There are more people over 65 ageing without children in the UK right now than there are people with dementia, but the difference in public funding and recognition of these experiences doesn't match that, let alone consider that the experience of dementia will be very different for someone without adult children willing to get involved, as I was with my own mother. It's one of the reasons that these days I'm focused on my ALTERKIN project rather than ‘lobbying’ for governmental change or support; I'd rather put my energy into something that is somewhat under our control--creating support for ourselves and each other in our local communities. 
 

The fact is, non-parents are a minority ignored by the mainstream (as all minorities are), and not seen as ‘worthy’ of any funding and, despite the taxes we pay to support civil society for everyone else's children's needs, we're not seen as contributing to society. I cannot tell you how mad that makes me! But it also makes me grateful for every membership fee that supported the Gateway Women online community from 2012-2022, and which made it possible for me to dedicate myself to this work, and to those who now support the Childless Collective in the same way, so that my legacy of community building continues to support the rising generations of childless women coming after me; the women who could have been my daughters, in another life. 

 

Which brings me to an essay I wrote for World Childless Week about my childless uncle and aunt, Passing it on: the necessity of intergenerational childless stories. In it, I share the tender way they related to me when I was a child, and how by their example they've shown me that a childless life can be a happy one too. I hope that this World Childless Week you are inspired by the stories of others, and that hopefully you've shared something of your own too. Because we need each other, and we need each other's stories too. 

 

The strength, tenacity, dedication, compassion, talent and sheer bloody hard work of childless people the world over makes so much happen for us online, in our communities, workplaces and private lives. And it's usually done in our ‘spare time’ and is unpaid, and often underappreciated! 

 

So this September, as we come together to connect, heal and celebrate, let's remember: we rise together. And if you can support either AWOC or WCW this month with a small (or HUGE!) donation, instead of ‘buying me a coffee’, that's one way to show our appreciation.  

 

Hoping to see you online or in person this September!