Hi First name / Slothy!,
Sometimes feedback is helpful. Other times it's the biggest ick of the century. Am I right!?
As a company of one, I genuinely perk up any time someone acknowledges the brand. It's exciting and points to signs I should probably get out more.
But... a few recent encounters gave me pause. They made me stop and ask myself why I felt prickly instead of my usual curiosity.
Here's what I landed on.
Feedback is only meaningful when it comes with context. The personalities involved, the history behind it, even what someone had for lunch that day. All of it shapes the feedback you're handed. Feedback should also point to an outcome. What happens once it's put into action? If it's just someone's two cents for the thrill of the moment, they can keep it, as far as I'm concerned.
As an empath and recovering perfectionist, I can get overwhelmed by feedback. However, as a systems person, I see feedback as data. It tells me my next step, my focus, my next decision. I think a lot of us feel that way too. That's exactly why we open ourselves up to feedback in the first place, and also get frazzled when we receive it.
I see it all the time with my clients. Whether they're looking for feedback from their team, their audience, or their housemates, they all want the same reassurance: proof they're headed in the right direction.
So here's my point, and it's twofold. If you're ever asked to give feedback, hand over the context and the outcome you're hoping for. It softens the blow every time. And if you've been on the receiving end of feedback that landed badly lately, or you're like me and got triggered for some reason, look for the context and the outcome in what was shared.
If it's not there, you have my full permission to ignore it.
It doesn't serve you to ruminate on someone's negative energy just because they woke up on the wrong side of the bed. That only adds to your mental load. Let it go. Save your curiosity for the feedback that comes with context and an outcome attached. That's when you lean in, because that's the kind that can actually shift where you're headed.
People who can't give constructive feedback are just complaining. And at that point, that's a them problem, not a you problem.
