ABILITY #3 OF 10
The Ability to Resolve Conflict
Attracting and retaining great employees BEGINS with interviewing well. There are 10 abilities we believe every organization in every industry should be seeking out in their future employees. Today we're discussing how to discover an employee's ability to resolve conflict.
3 Reasons Conflict Resolution Skills Matter
Avoidance Tendencies: Over 17 years of generational research, it's clear that fewer people receive conflict resolution skills as children. We see conflict avoidance in the workplace more than ever, especially among those whose parents resolved conflict for them or shielded them from natural consequences. These employees often feel ill-equipped for direct confrontation — a big reason “ghosting” has become so common, and why so many employers feel blindsided when employees quit.
Turnover Impacts Future Leadership: Most people don't quit jobs because of the job itself, but because of the people they work with. When good employees leave over unresolved conflict, it can threaten an organization's ability to sustain itself — there can't be a succession plan if you can't retain the people who'll become future leaders. The goal isn't to cave to every complaint; it's to equip employees with conflict resolution skills and build a culture committed to working through issues.
Conflict Isn't Always Bad: Social media has made it easy to simply avoid or unfollow people with different opinions, often causing us to dig in even harder on our own views. Most Americans avoid conflict at all costs, especially at work — but what happens when a system needs to be challenged, or a real wrong needs correcting? Handled respectfully, conflict refines us, builds understanding, and pushes an organization to grow.
2 Tips for HR Professionals
Must-Have Training: Conflict resolution training should be mandatory for incoming and existing employees alike — including catching up leaders who came up during years when training budgets were slashed. The more people who can use these skills themselves, the better.
If You're Resolving All the Conflict, That's a Problem: If you're constantly mediating small, adult-sized disagreements, it's time to look in the mirror: equipping your employees is part of your job. Pushing conflict resolution training into your team's hands — rather than solving every issue yourself — builds their satisfaction and gives you back valuable time.
Ask the Right Questions: 10 Interview Questions
- Tell me about a time when your friends or co-workers had a conflict and you had to facilitate a compromise.
- When you're really upset about how you've been treated, how do you normally react?
- If a co-worker was being bullied by another co-worker, what advice would you give them before involving HR?
- Have you ever let a situation go on too long that you wish you'd resolved earlier? What would you do differently?
- When you disagree with someone who has power over your employment, how do you deal with that?
- If a manager gave you feedback on your annual review that you felt wasn't true, how would you handle it?
- If you were offered another job and had to give two weeks' notice, how would you feel most comfortable telling your department head?
- What would be the number one reason you'd leave a job?
- How would you give feedback to an employee who frequently gets upset when told anything negative?
- If someone in your department reported one of your behaviors to HR anonymously, would it change how you interact with co-workers? Why or why not?
That's it for this week. Next up: The Ability to Listen, because most people don't actually listen, they just wait for their turn to talk, and that's costing you more than you realize.
Talk soon,
Kristin
