EPISODES 389, 390, 391 & 392 |
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Hi, how are you holding up? There’s a newsletter I subscribe to called Perfectly Imperfect. The concept is simple: cool people like cool things. They ask cool people to recommend what they are into currently this can be anything from recommending the way an acai bowl gets thicker in the fridge after sitting for a day to a ceramic. Today my mind is spiraling; it has been for the last several weeks hence not sending these. Whenever that’s the case I’m unable to talk about it until I’m on the other side at least a little. So while I’m processing… I figured I'd share recommendations.
Below is the list of recs I'd send Perfectly Imperfect today if I were asked to be a guest… Recommendations that did not come from the internet, without links… - Wearing collared shirts- It was 90 degrees here and friend said to me yesterday,
“I'm only wearing collared shirts from now on.”
“Won't you be hot?” I said.
The next day I wore a white button up with jean shorts and it was actually great, I must've been subconsciously influenced by him.
So perhaps look for style influence from people in real life in addition to the internet. And in people different from you size-wise, gender-identification-wise, age-wise, etc. - A uniform- My other friend has a desire to get an entire wardrobe custom made. I think his current monochromatic, mostly French workwear outfits are perfect but I get what he's craving. The ability to have a set of clothing he knows works and not have to think about it. A capsule wardrobe is very appealing. I'm constantly rearranging and swapping my clothes, especially each season. Just taking things away and then returning to them helps with this without spending a dime. And a good tailor.
- Writing letters to your doctor on nice stationery- That same friend sent me a text last night with a letter and drawing that he sent to his doctor before his physical. He said it started simply enough as a way for him to not forget all the questions he needed to write down. But he made it an art piece. Complete with a collaged rendering of is body and sketches, I only hope his doctor appreciated it as much as I did. It made me want to get a doctor myself simply so I could make art for them.
- Writing in general- These last several weeks I've been knee deep in several writing projects. Freelance writing, two proposals, an essay I started last year, a zine I started in 2020, and a short film I'm co-writing with Carolina. It feels good to be touching multiple creative projects daily. It feels good to be typing and trying. It helps me to be less swirly in my mind. This week I noticed that I wrote less and I spiraled more.
- Open spaces- Related to the above, I've been forced to make boundaries with my time. As a result of deadlines as well as the need to sustain my creative practice, I've said no to hangs, I've checked in on friends less frequently, I've taken longer to call back… but I have given myself some open space which I'm finding is necessary for me to get anything done.
- Getting back to people only when you have the capacity to do so- People have been doing this to me for years… but I thought I had to respond immediately. As Dr. Saundra stated in this episode from last year on creative boundaries and types of rest,
“People want the best version of you, not the immediate one… ”
This requires some trust and faith in the quality of a relationship but it’s better for everyone. - Putting a date on the calendar and sticking to it- This has become harder now maybe since the pandemic / post pandemic time, but honestly it's been hard in general for me. I've been constantly making and changing plans with people. But lately people have been doing the same to me and it's fine but also taking up a lot of time and brain space. I'm trying to make a plan stick to it and use the space around it. Instead of finding a more convenient time, I turn the time you planned a creative constraint.
- Hosting breakfast- Parties are fun but expensive and messy and go until late. I hosted a breakfast a few Saturdays ago and it was really nice. I kept it extremely small. I woke up at 4:00am to make oats, two frittatas (this is the recipe I used), a salad, blueberry banana muffins, a pancake cake, bought a loaf of fresh bread, smoked salmon, and flowers. It looked beautiful but I didn't post about it. I took a photo or two to send to my aunt who gave me the oats recipe and Sacha because I was excited. I was present with the very few people there:
Dexter played music on the speaker. Maren set the table. Captain made coffee.
Jake brought ice. Two different Elis told jokes. Chris made the salad dressing.
Katie checked on me when I got overwhelmed and hid in the kitchen for a second.
And they all helped me clean up which took me by surprise.
It sounds like a lot of cooking but it was actually easy and enjoyable. And since we cleaned up together, by 3 pm I'd checked off my social time, gotten filled up emotionally from it, and still had leftovers for days. I had the rest of the day and evening to do errands or stare at the wall. - Frozen blueberries as snacks- I feel like everyone knows about the magic of frozen grapes, yes? Well the other day I bought a large container of blueberries at Grocery Outlet (or what Dexter and I call GroceOut) and I accidentally put it in the back of my refrigerator. Turns out, back there makes everything “pretty-much-frozen”. This is annoying with lettuce--however, the delight I experienced last night standing in my hot kitchen in my underwear popping bluebs was unmatched.
- Magic Mind- My friend gave me one of these tiny green drinks and I love them, and now they're a sponsor of the podcast but this is a genuine recommendation for this weird small drink I have before coffee. Fortunately, I see a lot of friends at my coffee shop. Unfortunately, I have to speak to them prior to drinking coffee. But lately I drink a magic mind on my walk to coffee and it helps me wake up and focus. I usually have one later in the morning and sometimes afternoon too. Always before I record an interview. My fridge is stocked with them…see below photo. I even used my own code to buy more for myself and my friend. If you and yours want to use it too, it is for 40 percent off a subscription or 20 percent off a single purchase: here and use code letitout20
- Pill boxes-I take a lot of random pills. Something daily for my thyroid first thing in the morning and now recently only one vitamin which I'm very into… you might have heard me speak about it (more on that below). But related to pills is that I like keeping them in little containers. My friend Christine have me a little glass one last year that I love and I bought a small vintage basket one a while ago that goes with me everywhere. Back to the pills inside… in the last letter I mentioned switching to a a new gluten free version of the one vitamin I take. I am fine with gluten but I decided to try this version when Natalia, who works for the company, told me she likes it better. I met Natalia in the customer support chat dealing with my shipment delivery. When she saw my name, she told me she listens to the podcast. It was the coolest way I've ever met someone. The supplement helps with skin and hair growth including eyelashes, nails. Natalia made us a discount code: LETITOUT and the supplement is called Primeadine. Happy to answer any more questions you have on it. Or anything.
- Skin- Remembering that no one looks at your skin as up close as you do. I tend to pick myself apart in every way. And literally will pick at the skin on my face until it scars. I am trying to love what I'm using on my skin. Not look at it as closely.
Wear a lot of sunscreen (I use this one) and wash my face with this one and then if it's real dirty I do a second wash with the Milk Cleanse from here my number one favorite face cleanser of all time ever, ever and be done with it. I've been using it for two years and I've never loved a skin product more. This is not an ad at all but I did reach out to them (moon juice) to get a code for you so the code KATIEDALEBOUT10 works for the cleanser as well as anything on their site. I love their snacks and cosmic cream. - Water- I was recently asked about my relationship to water and my answer was, it's complicated. I have historically been terrible with hydration. This year for my birthday my friend Zoë asked me what I wanted and I said, help with having better sleep hygiene and hydration. I have gotten significantly better on the water part of my birthday wish. And it is due to a few factors: first I started to notice how it impacted my brain's ability to focus when I was extremely hydrated, secondly, I bought myself this water bottle that has both a straw and not straw option and fits in my cup holder in my car so I force myself to drink one every time I drive anywhere, and lastly related to the above…my friend Lindsay told me she noticed a dramatic difference in her skin but specifically her pore size when she drinks a “shit ton of water” …so with that I followed suit. Vanity got me… I am easily influenced by luckily have great people around me.
I fully planned on sending a list of articles and links but turns out I was influenced by real life more than the internet this week, which is nice. So I will stop here and perhaps I will send that list of links next week? Here is one important link which is to a resource document I first saw Jia Tolentino post on Friday after we heard the news. Her New Yorker article is linked as well if you have not already read it. In the meantime, below are several episodes of the show. I hope you listen to them or are listening. I have been loving these last few guests, conversations, and insights, so please let me know if you've listened. Love you, Katie PS. Let It Out is looking for a paid audio editing intern! Email me at katie@letitouttt.com if you're interested in applying or know anyone who might be interested! Must know Adobe Audition, be nice, and be available to help with the cadence of a weekly show as well as work on capsule seasonal projects like Spiraling. |
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kismet color & intentional chaos with artist kimmy quillin |
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My conversation with visual artist Kimmy Quillin was so extensive that I split it into two parts. We spoke for nearly three hours over Zoom, her from her home in Brooklyn and me here in LA. In Part 1, we begin by talking about mornings, her coffee routines and how being heliotropic, time of day, and color inform her painting. How both her Wisconsin roots and her love of New York City, the city she’s lived in for over a decade inform her work and personality. She talks about working in different mediums, the realties of living as an artist, our mutual love of Craigslist, highs and lows of releasing art and how she takes care of herself throughout it all. Kimmy is one of my favorite painters whose work can be seen on the walls of Good Move in Brooklyn (whose founder, Jules, has been on the podcast twice) as well as in Elle, Domino Magazine, and at Uprise Art. She presented her solo show Many Moons at Chinatown Soup in November 2019 (I was there) and at Spite Haus in January 2020. In Part 2, we talk more about her process—how she creates conditions for creativity, incorporating chance in her work, and what she calls intentional chaos. We end the episode with questions I gathered from a bunch of our mutual friends to ask her. |
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ON FRIENDSHIP Kayleen Schaefer wrote a seminal text about friendship, her first book Text Me When You Get Home and I talk about friendship frequently here… so we had an idea to explore friendships ending. The language and rituals post romantic breakups are so well-known they're cliché. Coming undone over a friend breakup, at least publicly, isn’t the norm. That’s why we’re looking at friend breakups, along with other friendship difficulties. More people are questioning how to keep their friendships—or how to act within them than ever. If you want to tell us about your friend breakups and ask other friendship questions, fill out this survey. To incentivize it a bit, Kayleen is offering to give away five copies of her latest book |
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My pep talk from maria brito (art curator, advisor & author) on creative reinvention, career pivots & solitude |
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This episode is a conversation with art advisor, curator, and author Maria Brito about career and creative pivots when things aren’t working, reinvention, using intuition in work and art, the importance of solitude, and more. She tells me about her trajectory of growing up in Venezuela, moving to the states to go to Harvard Law School and becoming a corporate attorney before making her own career pivot into the art world, where she eventually became a top art advisor. Maria's kindness is always evident throughout and especially in a section towards the beginning where she gives me a real creative advising session after I share about needing a career pivot myself. She gives me gentle and wise advice, which I’ve since been working on. We recorded this a couple of months ago over Zoom and since then, her new book called: How Creativity Rules The World: The Art and Business of Turning Your Ideas Into Gold is now available everywhere. |
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LOST & FOUND: BRENDAN FRANCIS NEWNAM ON “NOT LOST”, TRAVEL, INTIMACY, CONNECTION & MORE |
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This week I spoke to Brendan Francis Newnam, the former longtime host of The Dinner Party Download, who went on to create and executive produce The Paris Review Podcast. He is the author of the book Brunch Is Hell and (most relevant to this conversation) he’s the host of the podcast Not Lost. It's a travel show Brendan started after the end of both his long-term relationship and his decade-long radio show, The Dinner Party Download. Brendan "found himself on the wrong side of 35, unemployed, single, and with most of his friends ensconced in relationships and parenthood or both." So he took a microphone, hit the road with friends, and his adventure became Not Lost. The premise of the show is Brendan and his friends trying to get invited to a dinner party with locals in each city they visit. We talk about how he made the show and I picked out a few clips that particularly landed with me, including the balance between sharing vulnerably and holding back, how our trauma impacts our openness to relationships, and thoughts on loneliness, rejection, and connection. And what doing the show taught him about, intimacy, friendship, choosing a city to live in, nature and more. We also talked about interviewing and podcasting at the end, which raised some interesting questions for me. |
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top image: still from Les Nuits de la pleine lune, 1984 image three still from Conte D’été, 1996 |
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