Image 1
 

My offering for you this week: Yes, I will read your book, article, blog or website! I've begun offering equity reading services and I'll help you root out unintentional weight stigma and fatphobia in your work.

 

Just reply to this email for more information.

Hi friend,

 

To understand today's letter, you'll need to bear with me for a moment while I get a bit nerdy.

 

Especially during these pandemic times, I've been spending a great deal of my free time playing a video game called Final Fantasy XIV. It's a massive multiplayer online game, or MMO, which means that lots of other human beings are in the same make-believe world at the same time.

 

This particular game is a swords-and-sorcery-style fantasy, with the usual Tolkein-derivative races (elves, dwarves, and so on) plus anime-inspired cat- and bunny-girls.

 

It's a beautiful world with world-class worldbuilding, intricate storylines and lots of things to do besides just combat (crafting! gathering! fashion! interior design!).

 

I love it.

 

More things you need to know:

 

1. Since it's a multiplayer game, there are many aspects of the game that can only be explored by banding together with other players, like hard fights that give special rewards. These fights can be extremely difficult and require the players to be very skilled.

 

2. As in many MMOs, players form clubs or guilds (or as they're called in this game, "free companies") to take on those extra-hard monsters, socialize and share the experience of the game.

 

3. Though you have some level of customization when you create a character -- including height, breast size for female characters, and hair, skin and eye color -- there's no control over weight. Every character has an idealized body.

 

4. My character's name is Kirra, and she looks like this:

Image 1

Image description: A thin, female video game character in a short skirt, carrying a bow and standing on an icy stone platform in the mountains.

Now that you're all caught up....

 

I was in voice chat (like Zoom, but without video) with a big group of players from my free company, laughing at a silly running joke we'd started ("KIRRA YES" when I did part of the fight correctly, "KIRRA NOOOOO" when I didn't), when I realized something astounding:

 

I was popular.

 

My personality, voice, sense of humor and moderate awkwardness are exactly the same as they are outside the game, and I feel like I fit in.

 

People like me to an extent they never do offline. They sound pleased when I log into voice chat. They say my character's name as if the very sound makes them happy. I'm not very good at the combat we do together -- something people generally take very seriously -- but it doesn't seem to matter, they're still delighted by my presence.

 

The only difference is that no one knows I'm fat. My "body" fits in.

 

Is this how I'd be treated if my real human body were thin? Is this what it's like to not be oppressed, to be judged for my character and not my shameful body?

 

I want this so badly for the rest of my life, out of game, that it nauseates me. It makes living in my "bad" body so much harder to experience just a little of what it's like to live in one that's "good."

 

When my guildmates tell me I'm adorable, there's never an unspoken-and-probably-subconscious "for a fat lady" at the end. When they laugh at my jokes, there's never a tinge of pity for the funny fat woman. When they say they like my outfit, there's no unintended hint of "...for a fatty" at the end.

 

This is why I'm fighting, and why I hope you are too. I deserve to be treated the same way in my fleshly body as I am when I am separated from it.

 

Warmly,
Lindley

 

P.S. You can share this week's letter here.

My favorite image this week:

Image 1

Image description: A fat woman in a colorful two-piece bathing suit discards a black T-shirt as she walks along a sandy beach next to an urban walking path and calm water.

Recent from Me

The Conversation

Here's what's being discussed this week in the world of body acceptance, HAES, body positivity and fat liberation:

 

> HAES doctor survey

 

> NAAFA Webinar Series 2021: Pandemic Edition Episode 1 featuring Da'Shaun Harrison and Ragen Chastain, 4/6

 

> In Obesity Research, Fatphobia Is Always the X Factor

 

> When you hear inflammation, does your brain immediately jump to food?

 

> You can also live in a marginalized body AND still have privilege. ⁣

 

> A letter for those who learned to blend in, be quiet, be seen and not heard, and for those who were never seen at all.

 

> The Influence of Diet Culture in Black Communities and Church – with Joy Cox, PhD

 

> Heteropatriachy says the two worst things a woman can be are:

 

1. Unfuckable

2. Fuckable but unavailable

 

> Unicorn chaser: Kitten surprise

 

Need a good 101 or refresher on bodies, fatness and science? I always recommend Body Respect by Lindo Bacon and Lucy Aphramor.

Behind the Scenes: Body Liberation Shop Update

The new Body Love Shop is coming along swimmingly, and I'm so excited about it! I want it to be a true central source for fat-friendly, body-safe goods, artwork, furniture, care products, the works. When people need anything, I want them to know they can come find it with me. 

 

I never intended to do a large amount of affiliate work, but people have been so, SO responsive to having a place where they know everything listed will be fat-positive that I'm expanding! 

 

Being a giant retailer myself isn't my goal, though (and since I'd lack economy of scale, my prices wouldn't be able to compete with big companies. Also, my house is only so big). 

 

So in addition to carrying select products "in house" -- literally in my house, that can be shipped any time -- I'm investing many, many hours into adding affiliate products to the store as well.

 

For folks who aren't yet familiar with affiliate products, they're products you promote with a special tracking link. When someone buys that product, you get a (very) small amount of the sale price. Operating this way allows me to recommend products I approve of, or have carefully vetted, while also being compensated for my time and labor. 

 

I just finished adding around 400 Amazon products to the shop and I feel so accomplished. 

 

The import is somewhat automated, but every item has to be checked over and its metadata (description, title, etc.) adjusted. It's time-consuming, tedious and hard on the hands, but I only need to do it once per item. After that, the import plugin will keep the prices and in-stock status updated for me. (Well worth the monthly plugin fee.) 

 

(I know some of y'all don't do Amazon, but please don't @ me about it because this is the best way to curate and vet products like furniture and books.) 

 

I was also just accepted to Etsy's affiliate program, so I'll be able to add Etsy products as well! Etsy lacks an import plugin, unlike Amazon, so every item has to be hand-imported into the shop. 

 

I'm being conservative with those items because unlike Amazon items, I won't have any way to know if an item goes out of stock, changes price or disappears. That means each one will have to be maintained by hand.

 

(And also because if I keep copying and pasting things for hours my hands are going to fall off. Thank goodness for my TENS unit and Biofreeze.)

 

My assistant Shelbey has been helping me by moving all the in-house items over from the old shop. Each of those will need to be checked over and its description updated as well. 

 

After nearly a year of work on the back end of the website, it is SO GOOD to see the new shop really taking shape. 

 

So. good. 

 

I don't yet have the landing page up for the new shop (both because it's not done and because the old shop is still active), but I'll have something for you to see soon. 😊

Image 1

Image description: A fat book cover with a photo of a fat Hawaiian woman standing in shallow water. Text reads, 24 Printable Posters: Honoring the Body.

NEW: No matter what kind of body you live in, but especially if you live in a large body…

 

Pop culture and diet culture want us to shrink, to be tiny, the merest wisp of existence, easily put out of sight and out of mind. But our bodies want more solidity and our souls want more room to burn, which is why it’s so hard to shrink and so very profitable to make us think we must.

 

But there is so much value in our closer relationship with gravity. We heal more easily. We are more resistant to famine. Our bodies refuse to shrink and shrink until we go out like a candle simply so onlookers can be more comfortable.

 

In this book, you’ll find 24 posters printable up to 18×24″. There are 11 pairs, each with a different mantra. You can print and hang them up separately, or together.

 

Or, keep this little book on your computer or phone and use it as a source of mantras and inspiration. Choose a new one every day (or week).

Quick Resources: Body Positive Yoga

Hi! I'm Lindley.

- she/her

- photographer

- author

 

Image description: Lindley, a fat white woman, is shown sitting in a cafe with salmon-pink walls. She has shoulder-length blonde hair and glasses, and is wearing a black top with a translucent blue-and-white patterned jacket. Her hands are on the tabletop in front of her.

Hi! I'm Lindley.

 

I'm a professional photographer (she/her, pronounced LIN-lee) who celebrates the unique beauty of bodies that fall outside conventional "beauty" standards. I live outside Seattle, WA. 

 

I talk about and photograph fat folks because representation of large bodies in the world is vital to our body liberation.

 

 

People come to me for:

  • Body-safe portrait, boudoir and small business photography sessions
  • Diverse, body-positive stock photos
  • Fat fine art photographic prints
  • Health at Every Size (HAES)-aligned consulting, writing and editing
  • The Body Love Shop, a curated resource for body-positive and fat-positive art and products

Pssst! Did a friend forward you this email? If you'd like to get your own body liberation guide every week, just drop your email address here.

 

You're on this list because you're a current or past client or customer, or you signed up on my website.

f-facebook
f-twitter
f-instagram
f-youtube