hi hey hello! đđ» This one goes out to all my friends whose brain's haven't caught up to it being a ânew yearâ â and who need the equivalent of an internet hug. |
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That's right my dudesâ the Call Me When You Get This podcast is back. New episodes are available on this email list, ONLY! Just for you. Because I love you. Prefer to read it? Scroll on đ |
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Have you written â2022â anywhere recently? Did your brain sort of ~glitch~ when you wrote it, because it still doesnât feel real? But then, just as quickly, your brain went kind of numb to that feeling, and you went on with your day? Same. Did someone on social media recently post a dreamy, swipe-through carousel of well-designed slides in muted tones and a minimalistic font, featuring their really well-written New Year âintentions,â because they âno longer believe in resolutionsâ? Did your brain sprint through a series of contradicting feelings just then, like âoOOo, I kinda like that way of looking at goalsâ to âwhat would my intentions be?â to âwait, why do I still have no idea what Iâd write!?â to âNM this stuff is cheesy as f^@% anyway!ââ and then SPEED SCROLL AWAY? Same. Thereâs nothing wrong with us. Wanna know why? |
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This might not be your ânew year.â This might be the middle of your winter. |
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Try as we might, humans canât shake our connection to nature, seasons, the cycles of the moon, or the weather. (Nor should we.) Sure, Captains of Industry are trying to make everything a constant stream of production and consumption; thereâs always something going on. But in reality? Humans are more like plants with feelings than machines. We have our own seasons. â Remember a few weeks ago, when I told you a story about a peach tree and a little bird talking to each other in an orchard? â About how you can only âbear fruitâ when your branches can handle the weight of those peaches ~ AND ~ if you just so happen to be ready to grow those peaches during the correct season?
â That your productivity isnât about your willpower, but more about the resources you have in that moment, plus the context youâre living in?? (ICYMI, catch up on that email here.) Whether you like it or not, your placement on this planet âthe seasonsâ have an effect on you. If youâre in the northern hemisphere, like I am, this is the middle of winter. The period of time where things have s l o w e d d o w n. Where itâs quiet, grey, or there are less hours of daylight each day. Thatâs just the tangible experience of winter in the northern hemisphere. It's your environmental winter. But also? This might be your personal winter. |
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ALEXIS, WHAT DO YOU MEAN âPERSONAL WINTERâ? |
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Sometimes our personal seasons align with the environmental season weâre inâbut sometimes they donât. - Have you ever considered what time of year you tend to be higher energy, or more motivated to try new things, meet new people, explore, be social, be âout and aboutâ?
- What about the time of year where you feel an almost panicked sense of reflection; an urge to suddenly question every choice youâve ever made? Like, âGAHHh I used to care about this thing, why donât I care about it anymore? Why did I spend my time this way? What am I doing with my life?!â
- What about a period where you feel lower energy? Does meeting new people sound tiring? Would you rather cozy up by yourself at home, or be around the 1 to 2 humans you know you like and trust?
Here's what I'm getting at: If, right now, you WISH you COULD set intentions or make plans for this year âbut you canât seem to commit, or even get yourself to care as much as you think you shouldâ thatâs okay. Itâs not a sign thereâs something wrong with you or that youâre not âhandling stuff well.â It's a sign you're a human. First of all, think about just ~how much~ is going on in our world right now. And sure, we SAY that all the time; we acknowledge that things are scary, complex, uncertainâbut then we ACT like things are normal. We behave as though we should all be âfine.â Things are not normal! Who even knows what fine looks like! |
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You know What IS normal? For your brain to decide that right now, iT's time to conserve energy. |
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Iâve said it before: all your brain cares about is energy. It makes predictions âat lightning-fast speedsâ in an effort to conserve energy, keep you alive, and help you live according to your values. [For more on this, read this book.] Soooooo letâs say, for example, that there was a lot going on in your world & circumstances recently (and we both know there was đ ). Okay, well, you used up a lot of your energy budget just to be a human over the course of 2021. â If your brain has learned that the best thing it can predict is the unexpected âthat it should anticipate uncertainty, because world circumstances have taught you thatâs how it worksâ then it will find ways to conserve your energy. â Giving you a whole bunch of extra motivation to make plans and commitments around what youâre âgoing to achieveâ in the coming year WOULDNâT MAKE SENSE. That would be completely ignoring all the information it has collected through your recent experiences! The point isâ you are a peach tree. More of a plant with feelings than a machine. And if you DONâT feel aligned with the Gregorian calendar and the entirely arbitrary assignment of the âyou should have new feelings and want to new things as of January 1stâ thingâthat is perfectly acceptable. Not weird. You could even lean into that, if you wanted. đ |
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I APPRECIATE THIS, ALEXIS BUTâŠI COULD REALLY USE SOME âPERSONAL SEASONâ EXAMPLES?? |
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Sure thing! Itâs taken me several years of spending more time reflecting than I spend setting goalsâand I use my favorite annual reflection questions to help me figure this out. ANYWAY, my personal âquartersâ donât align with traditional âbusiness quartersâ (like Q1, Q2, Q3, Q4). Some of my seasons are a 3 months long; some 4 months; some 2. How did I determine this? By noticing the quality of my energy, attention, motivation, and mood during a particular seasonâand when things started to shift. Case in point? My âfirst quarter of the yearâ is a hyper-reflective hermit-mode, and it starts in December of the previous year. Vulnerability Alert: Iâm about to show you the EXACT notes I have for myself in my Notion dashboardâthe ones that help me stay sane when everyone else is living out a different season than I am. |
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MY PERSONAL WINTER DECEMBER, JANUARY, FEBRUARY |
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Vibe: reflection with the volume turned all the way up âđ» Things to embrace about my Winter: - big sorting, organizing & âwhatâs my system?â energy đź
- dark hours / different sleep schedule đŽ
- bookworm / research nerd / study hall vibes đ
- dramatic rest / deliberate time off đ« đ
Reminders for my personal Winter: - If you get sad, donât freak out. Itâs not a diagnostic thing, or a deficit, or a disorder for you. Itâs shorthand for knowing your energy will take a dramatic seasonal shift. You might not even recognize yourself; you got used to being someone else earlier in the year. Thatâs okay. Let yourself transform again and again. This is how you grow!
- When youâre in Study Hall mode, try to create a system for your notes. Write something on the post-it you added to that page, or add keywords to the article you saved in the Inbox page. Itâll help a lot in Spring when weâre in Bloom mode and we need to find those sources & ideas!
- Take your vitamin D3. And go outside, even when itâs gray. Youâll still get UVA / UVB rays through those clouds, and you could use the fresh air, okay?
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MY PERSONAL SPRING MARCH, APRIL, MAY, JUNE |
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Vibe: Bloom mode, BB đ Things to embrace about my Spring: - big âget it doneâ and âgimme due datesâ energy â
- coming outta my shell / make it fashion đ€łđ»
- planting vegetable beebs in tiny garden đ
- mood: I got this, lights camera action, say yes to collabs đ
đ» đœ
Reminders for my personal Spring: - Embrace the motivation surge! Youâve had time to incubate ideas in Winter, and now youâre ready to make those ideas into tactical plans. Go with it!
- If you signed up for any Winter classes that carry into the Spring, donât be surprised if youâre kind of antsy or bored in Mar April May. Go-mode makes zoom classes feel sloooowwwwww.
- Even if committing to a big deliverable project back in Jan/Feb sounds awful, remember that youâll probably have a ton of execution energy in April/May â so you can always reverse engineer âto-do list stuffâ from an April or May âproject is out in the worldâ date and know that youâll find the energy to get it done.
- Embrace growing season! Learn about some plant babies and get them in the garden in time for their own blooming season. You saw how much you loved that tomato, I mean damn
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MY PERSONAL SUMMER JULY, AUGUST, SEPTEMBER |
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Vibe: outside outside outside outside! âïž Things to embrace about my Summer: - reaping the benefits of what work Iâve sown đ đž
- personal new year! đ„ đ (my birthday always plants reflection seeds)
- BBQs! Parking lot patio! Bare skin! Time with friends! âïž
Reminders for my personal Summer: - Youâve got a project or two left in you, kid. Donât worry about doing anything âconsistently,â just know that youâll still have outward energy for most of this season, and you can say yes to something you didnât know you had in you!
- Remember to harvest (aka ENJOY) the delicious stuff youâve sown: garden veggies, free time with friends, new revenue from springâs extraverted projects, new collaborators and interest. No, you donât have to do any of this forever!
- Spend your weekends in the fresh air, when you can. Bask in the sunshine. Play at rollerskating. Invite friends over. Travel somewhere. You can use your extraverted energy for people, tooâ it doesnât all have to go to work / brand / career stuff!
- Spite your pasty white ancestors by wearing regular sunscreen (and with continued anti-racism education / collective action) please and thank you
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MY PERSONAL FALL OCTOBER, NOVEMBER |
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Vibe: new energy cocktailâ one part reflection, two parts get stuff done đž Things to embrace about my Fall: - look at those electric leaves! đ
- explore something off topic, on purpose đș
Reminders for my personal Fall: - Donât beat yourself up for not caring about extraverted projects anymore. This is normal for you! Consistency does not equal frequency; consistency what youâre trusted and known for.
- Realizing your IRL self has changed, but your online self hasnât caught up? Donât feel bad. Thatâs normal. We usually get the urge to ârip down the wallpaperâ around this time.
- You might be feeling sad about the weather and the daylight. Thatâs okay, donât be scared about feeling sad. Youâll really like the cozy feeling later, but for now: Go take a trip somewhere, if itâs safe to do so. Explore something. Do off topic things for a couple months. Get inspired by things that arenât related to your usual âfield of study.â
- You might not want to sit with the âwhat kind of family are weâ feeling, but itâs better to do that now than to feel side-swiped by it in Winter. Will you want to decorate a Christmas tree? Do you want to have a friends over for Thanksgiving? Some of these things require you start now, or plan now. If you want those things, then planning wonât feel labor-some for you.
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WOW, ALEXIS â YOU ARE A LOT |
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đ Tell me about it! Did you need to know all that about me? Probably not. But I thought you deserved an example of a different way of thinking about yourself, you know? SoâŠhappy winter to all my fellow Peach Trees having their personal Winters. Happy reflecting. Happy feeling your feelings. Happy isolating, social distancing, and being kind yourself and to one another, becauseâ wow. What a time to be alive, huh? Anyways, |
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PS: Would sharing more of my Quarterly reflection questions (or my Personal Seasons template, shown above in Notion) be helpful? Hit reply and let me know! PPPS: Are you in the middle of your Personal Summer!? Hit reply and tell me. I want to celebrate with you! |
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