Hi friend,
There's one response that we fat people who talk about fat oppression constantly, endlessly, infuriatingly get from thin people: #notallthinpeople.
Any time a fat person writes about discrimination, hatred, bigotry, or ill treatment at the hands of thin people, thin folks get uncomfortable. Maybe your heart sinks a little, or your stomach gets the tiniest bit queasy, at how you've seen that treatment happen and not stopped it. Or how maybe you thought those thoughts, but didn't act on them. Or how many you've acted that way yourself.
And that discomfort sucks, right? No one wants to feel that way. And feeling angry is easier than feeling like maybe you need to change, so you get angry at us. And then you dump that anger onto us. Endlessly. Predictably.
"Why are you so divisive?"
"You're the real problem with the body positivity movement!"
"Stop tarring all thin people with the same brush!"
"Thin people actually have it harder because of this one anecdote I have!"
"Thin privilege doesn't exist."
"Why can't we all just get along?"
Every time I post about privilege -- an unearned advantage that accompanies a certain range of body sizes -- a dozen thin people appear to accuse me of being a meanyface to all thin people. They get invested, and they get mad. And then they dump that anger onto me. Endlessly. Predictably.
When you externalize your anger onto us via these same-sounding, defensive messages and claims, it's often not even clear what you actually want.
Do you want us to tell you that, no, we made it all up and fat people are always treated with respect and dignity? Do you want us to tell you that we deserved it? Do you want us to agree with you that thin privilege isn't real despite all the evidence to the contrary?
Do you want us to acknowledge your moral superiority? What?
What do you want from us in addition to excluding us from society and infrastructure and waiting room seats and proper healthcare? What more can we give you that we don't already?
Is our capitulation and our silence what you really want from these endless messages? Because nothing else seems to satisfy you.
What would happen if you listened, and sat with that discomfort? Why do you need to externalize the discomfort of having a particular privilege onto someone without it?
What would happen if you stopped further oppressing an already marginalized population by ceasing to expect us to not only patiently, endlessly explain our oppression to you, but gently and patiently listen to you talk about how we're the real problem?
What would happen if you changed?
Warmly,
Lindley
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