i friend,
A couple of things:
1. Among women + everyone with uteruses + queer folks, there's so much exhaustion right now. Add to that the exhaustion caused by living through a multi-year pandemic for those who are extra vulnerable due to disability, illness, marginalization and/or being the subject of medical weight stigma, and it's a wonder any of us are making it out of bed right now.
(I started the above paragraph three times before actually finishing it.
If you're experiencing brain fog and burnout, you are definitely not alone.)
I wish I could do more than this for you, but in this moment, I see you, and I'm holding you in my heart.
2. I'm on semi-hiatus for the next few weeks to honor my own needs in this time + spend some time with family members who are in town, so I'll be sharing some past pieces from the Body Liberation Guide.
Now on to this week's letter:
Once during a podcast recording, I was asked to talk about what I'd want young people today to know about body image and body shame, especially in a world where they've been surrounded by social media and internet culture as long as they can remember.
I think my answer is applicable to pretty much everyone:
🌪 Body and beauty standards have been imposed on you from the outside -- you weren't born with them. Other people and entities -- companies, the media, friends, relatives, social media accounts -- have impressed these standards on you for their own reasons, and may not have your best interests in mind.
🌪 Be skeptical when anyone or anything tries to make you feel worthless, less than or not up to standard. Who stands to gain or profit when you feel crappy about yourself?
🌪 Everything you see in images is altered in some way. Eeeeeeeverything. Even beautiful nature photos are often tweaked to impossible perfection! To say nothing of human bodies. There are even Photoshop-like tools for video now. The people you see in the media and in ads and on social media and on TV don't look like that in real life, so don't feel like you should, either.
🌪 Demand facts and evidence, especially about anything related to health. You are allowed to ask for evidence! Just because some dude on Youtube says something doesn't make it true, or backed by evidence. Ask for the peer-reviewed study. Be less fun at parties. You deserve to make decisions based on reality.
🌪 Your body WILL accumulate stories, no matter what eye cream you use or gym you attend or bra you wear or food you eat. These stories might look like wrinkles, or scars, or acne, or moles, or stretch marks, or cellulite, or broken bones, or fat rolls, or chronic illnesses.
And that's all they are -- stories.
When anyone tells you that you have "flaws" or "blemishes" or that you need to erase or eliminate or hide some part of yourself, they're trying to erase your stories. Reject that narrative. Your stories are important, unique and vital.
