Image item
 

Image item
 

 
Hi friend,
 
I've been watching manatees on the Homosassa Springs underwater cam and remembering that everything large, round and soft has a place on the planet.
 
I've also updated my portfolio.
 
Now, on to this week's letter:
 
Today I'm thinking about a concept I'm calling size contrition.
 
Size contrition is what we fat folks perform in order to win small amounts of forbearance from thin people. In essence, it allows us to temporarily access aspects of thin privilege in return for our public recognition of and apology for our fatness.
 
For instance, let's look at the act of wearing flattering clothing. Flattering often means causing the wearer to look as compliant with beauty standards, particularly thinness, as possible.
 
For average-sized and smaller fat people, wearing flattering clothing can allow them to appear thinner and access a higher level of thin privilege.
 
(Conversely, these folks can often claim a level of oppression they do not actually experience by reversing "flattering" -- think of the thin influencers who slouch to create a "belly roll.")
 
Larger fat people, however, simply cannot access more privilege with flattering clothing. I can avoid wearing horizontal stripes until the sun freezes, and I'll still be visibly very fat.
 
When larger fat people wear flattering clothing (e.g., baggy, black, dated, hiding "problem areas"), we are performing size contrition. No one -- not us, not an onlooker -- is fooled into thinking we're actually thin.
 
But our performance makes it clear that we know we should be thin, and (in a society that associates moral and personal traits with body size) that we should be all the virtuous traits associated with thinness. We are saying without words,
"Yes. I know that I am fat, and that my fat body is evidence of my inferiority. Please forgive me. I'm trying to be better."
 
An important privilege of thinness is to be the arbiter of fat people's worth, and size contrition shows this in action. When handed these cues of contrition, thin people will often reward us with a temporary reprieve from oppression: size forbearance.
 
That reprieve might be enough to get us through a meeting, or a job interview, or a restaurant meal, or a date, or a doctor's appointment.
 
And in a world that tells us, "You'd better show your contrition all the time, and maybe we'll reward you," it's no wonder that most fat people are publicly contrite all the time.
 
Here are some of the ways size contrition shows up in the world:
  • "Flattering" clothing
  • Diet talk
  • Before-and-after photos
  • Squeezing into infrastructure (like chairs) designed to exclude fat bodies
  • Public dieting and "health journeys"
  • Exercise with a loud intention of weight loss
  • Weight loss surgery
How have you seen size contrition in action? If you're a fat person, how have you used it for survival? If you're a thin person, how have you used the power of others offering you their contrition?
 
Next week we're going to talk about the meme-friendly concept of "fuck flattering" and explore the Mimi Exemption.
Warmly,
Lindley
 
P.S. Share this week's letter or save to read later here. It's only possible to offer the Body Liberation Guide and all its labor for free because people like you support it. If you find value here, please contribute for as little as $1 per month. Every dollar helps.
Thanks to new supporters Lenny Husen M.D., Belinda Dunford, Kathryn Johnson, Rachael, Abby, Lisa Razon, Erin H and Rachel Talasko!
 

The Conversation

Image item
 
"Dieting distorts your true 'wants,' leaving you obsessed with food, and constantly feeling like a starving baby lion. Re-connecting with our bodies signals through a practice of intuitive eating is generally considered to be step one in reversing this effect." ยป Isabel Foxen Duke
 

Coming Up

 
Image item
Quick Resources: On Navigating Fat Shaming

August Free Stock Images
Click here to claim your free stock images (zip). The link will expire in two weeks, so grab them soon.
 
If you enjoy the free photos I provide each month, please help support Body Liberation Photos by purchasing stock images or becoming a supporter.
 
Low on budget? Consider linking and/or giving photo credit to
bodyliberationphotos.com when you use these free photos.
 
Your support makes it possible to continue creating and offering these images. 
Pssst! Did a friend forward you this email? If you'd like to get your own body liberation guide every week, just drop your email address here.
 
You're on this list because you're a current or past client or customer, or you signed up on my website.
 
*These links are provided as a community service and I'm not compensated for any of them unless noted by an asterisk. 
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Youtube