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BANDIT
a Digital Digest for Modern Relationships

vol. 2, no. 6

June is jam-packed, but we expect nothing less from Gemini season, now in full swing. Edith Piaf's Padam Padam inspires the song of the summer, we do a little self-reflection on toxic love, learn how to break parental patterns, and stock up on spicy novels to read with our partners in crime. And of course, it's PRIDE; we've stacked this month's Bandit with plenty of Queer content including the latest messy reality dating show and fun ways to share this season of love is love is love with our little ones. 
– Amy, founder of BANDIT & Modern Rebel
 
Hot Takes 

  • Our belated congrats to Montana's first trans lawmaker Zooey Zephyr and Erin Reed on their engagement! Zephyr continues to fight the good fight for trans+ rights in her home state. (Autostraddle)
  • Love-bombing banned! New guidance on prosecuting abusive partners in the UK now includes love-bombing as a coercive tactic used to confuse victims and take control. (Guardian)
  • We are family! Celebrate Pride together with these kid-friendly TV shows and movies streaming now. (New York Family)
  • “It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me!” A lot of talk of toxic relationships, but have you considered perhaps you're the problem? 4 signs that you may be the toxic partner. (Lifehacker)
  • Want to be a better wedding guest? For starters, don't leave your hosts waiting and RSVP promptly. Rebel Amy says “Be a hell yes or a hell no in life!” (HuffPo)
Expert Advice: Breaking the Narc Cycle

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Our growing understanding of trauma means that for some, they don't realize they're victims of abuse until well into adulthood.  “Narcissistic parents view their children as extensions of themselves — experiencing emotional separation or boundaries as a rejection,” says psychotherapist Dana Dorfman, Ph.D. For those raised by Narcissistic parents, establishing healthy relationships with their spouses and kids can be a real challenge. “Parents (raised by narcissists) should develop open communication…with a co-parent or spouse,” says Dorfman. “They can get emotional needs met from adult relationships — and not burden their children with them.”  (Fatherly)
 
Sex + Intimacy

  • Book club for two. 7 reasons you should be reading romance novels with your #1 babe, like better conflict resolution in your relationship and conjuring inspired fantasies together. (Bustle)
  • That word, Trauma Bonding, I do not think it means what you think it means. Casually bantering around this harmful dynamic could dilute its meaning and significance, experts warn.  (Salon)
  • Clittorific sex tips to light up the little bean! Anatomy lesson followed up with practical tips to get started…or refine your technique. (Women's Health)
  • Got a too-peppy peter? Premature ejaculation affects about 20-30% of sexually active people. Find out why it's happening and discover some at-home remedies. (Healthline)
 
Seven For Seven: Jamie + Niraj

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Photo: Pup + Jamie + Niraj
In our new feature, Seven For Seven, couples answer our seven questions in seven words or less. Park Slope Pup Parents Niraj Chokshi (he/him) and Jamie Hill (she/her) find pleasure in pizza and possibly more pooches. 

Who made the first move? Jamie! She e-mailed after volunteering together.
What does your love look like? A cozy blanket and disco balls.
Our guilty pleasure is: Good cocktails and vodka sauce pizza.
It’s a constant struggle to: Do it all!
How do you keep the sparks sparking? Massages and surprise snack deliveries.
What’s messy in your relationship? Aligning on our capacity for more dogs.
Our marriage mantra: Dream big and stay curious.

 
 

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With every new subscriber, we're donating $1 to the One Love Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to educating young people about healthy relationships. 

 
Bandit Bests

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  • 🫶 We're wedding obsessed and we love seeing the different ways folks do it. World Wide Wed celebrates couples on their big day all over the globe. The docu series kicks off with a lesbian couple honoring their Episcopalian faith and their queer identities. (Refinery29)
  • ⚖️ Marriage is not 50/50,” explains Brené Brown. Each partner's levels of energy, investment, kindness, and patience are in constant flux. Cop a squat and meet each other where you are.  (The Tim Ferriss Show)
  • 💃 Lock us up and throw away the key ‘cause this summer hit is inescapable! Padam Padam is the first single off Kylie Minogue's upcoming 17th (!!) album release. (Pink News)
  • 💗 12 messy sapphic summer reads to satisfy fans of The Ultimatum: Queer Love, the latest reality dating show featuring a ton of red flags swapping partners and scathing barbs from the very first episode. (Book Riot)
Firestarter: Kindle a Convo

In each issue of BANDIT, we'll suggest a conversation starter to help connect deeper with your partner. 
 
What's one thing about your parent's relationship that you would change if you could?  
 

Hi there. 
We love hearing from you. 
Got a tip, some feedback, or an interesting rec? Email us.

 
BANDIT is brought to you by Modern Rebel, an unconventional event planning company helping couples rewrite the rules to weddings across the USA + Canada.