When I last wrote to you, I was preparing for two months + a week of international travel and living abroad with my family. Since then, I’ve had beautiful and leisure afternoons of tea and harried pursuits off trains in London, learned the art of baking French croissants in Paris and just how many things are pas si mal - including the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre - explored rich historical sites and bounds of impressive works, journeyed a transatlantic flight to South Africa, and watched lions and zebras stride just beyond the windows of our vehicle. If you’d like to see glimpses of it all, you can find those in the highlights and along the way, here.
We’ve been in Johannesburg for a little over two weeks now. We’ve spent absolutely irreplaceable time with our family rooted here, celebrated my born day (and my mother's) with an overflow of love, and I have not cleaned a bathroom or cooked a whole meal, since stepping foot on this soil. Ya’ll. Joburg is my jam. But what I want to lend testimony to most, is the beautiful gift this part of the world provides good example to - the embrace of village. I very quickly trust-fell, longingly, as the Black woman/mother/doula I am - into the relief that comes from having an accessible, thoughtful, and reliable web of support.
Domestic help is quite the cultural norm here. And one isn’t required to identify as human-dictated royalty or present with the grandest of riches to garner such. It would be shem here to think that someone could work a whole job, clean a whole house, cook the whole meals, take care of a whole self and family and do it all on one’s own, AND be ok. Postpartum help is quite the cultural norm, as well. The majority of new mothers stay with their mother or mother-in-law for months after birth. They are looked after, taken care of, expected to feed their babies, rest, and eat good food. I know mothers in America, right now, who are yearning for that kind of embrace. Even when American women have mothers and sisters and girlfriends that have an inkling about what she may need, American society-at-large does not take good, thoughtful care of its mothers - by design. Restrictive birthplace and provider choices, health insurance costs and limitations, no federally-mandated paid leave, shelter/food/transportation/childcare costs for your whole paycheck, penalizing folks for working hard and paying their bills. Phew, chile. Mothers (and fathers) and families in America need tending. They need it fabric in the flag waved. And it takes a whole village - to recognize, to design - for the proper wellness of folks.
In 2023, I was blessed to be a village member to beautiful families that trusted me as their birth continuum guide and doula. I have journeyed whole pregnancies to postpartum with folks. I saw mothers born before my eyes, fathers strength in tears, babies taking their first breath earthside, grandparents sighing with relief and exclaiming in jubilee of the beauty and the health of their legacies. I feel good knowing that for every mother in my care, she has at least one more educated, experienced advocate for her well-being. And I feel good knowing that you, my friend - through this newsletter - are more educated on matters of birth support, and can be a more vibrant advocate for your fellow folk, for the mama you may be, for the mamas you know, for the families in your life, for the people you love.
It is such a privilege to hold safe and joyous and mindful space for and with my people. And in these final moments before the birth of a brand new year, I am so thankful for folks like you, who have and are holding such precious space, for my people, and for me.
Happy Eve. xx
