I took Leslie Grossman's Her Circle Leadership program focused on setting a vision and understanding the tenets needed to make that vision a reality. It set the stage for everything I've done since.
Determining my vision first helped me see that the vision was so far outside my box of safety that I needed to overcome my limiting beliefs before I could get started. It was all about the tenet of "Courage." Courage in getting "comfortable with being uncomfortable," a message Leslie repeatedly emphasized.
As a second-generation child of immigrants, I had a survival mindset that left me stuck. I was living life by doing only what I was comfortable with, following my parents' definition of “success,” and seeking approval from others. Little did I know that these thought processes were limiting me. For the first time, I took a big risk and chose to believe in myself. The first step was creating my vision for my future and the impact I wanted to make. This allowed me to see a larger future for myself. Then I had to set the course for how to get there. All of that led me to do what I am doing now. I started my own business as a leadership coach, with a focus on women, particularly first and second-generation immigrant women like myself. My vision is to "create an inclusive society where people of color thrive and rest in their personal and professional
lives." Through my time with Leslie, I began to believe in myself, and by coaching members of our HCL cohort, I began to realize that "I am a coach."
I began to strengthen my growth mindset, an important tenet in the program, and have incorporated many new options in what I offer my core group of customers. Even when imposter syndrome arises, as it does for most of us, I can shift out of it with a mindset change.
A little more about that mindset shift from my cultural DNA: My parents believed that all that mattered was keeping their heads above water by having a steady job and living a life with a 9-5 grind, living without taking up space. Others deserved center stage. We were lucky to be in the theater at all. That mindset, which became mine, stopped them from considering a life outside of work or from starting a business of their own. The goal was just to make sure you have enough to live.
I broke that cycle and now, on most days, I know that I have a right to design my own business and be the curator of a happy life. I know now that I am a courageous woman, and when fear shows up, I question where it comes from rather than let it direct me. Does it come from my mother? My friend? My aunt? I learned that it's not my voice being fearful; it's their voices that make me feel that way.
Realizing this has made me aware of how important it is to surround ourselves with people who will support us, without fear of what might happen. These are my inner circle—the ones I spend the most time with. I've learned to let go of people who hold me back—they may still be in my life, but they are no longer in my inner circle. It was quite difficult to let them go at first, but over time, I've learned that you can't always bring along people who are not ready for that growth. It's a continuous process of learning, but there's huge value in putting yourself first.
A note on the relationship tenet: A key part of my growth has been understanding how important relationships are for success. I joined several organizations and took courses, all the while expanding my sphere of influence and carefully selecting those I want to influence me. While they all represent different circles in my life, only certain people from those groups become part of my inner circle. I co-created the Miami chapter of ACENextGen, an Asian American, Pacific Islander group of entrepreneurs, have an ongoing co-working accountability group with fellow women business owners, and joined the Miami Sound Space Choir—an inclusive, non-denominational choir where I'm part of something bigger than myself, while finding connection and community in the city of Miami. Not every circle is about making money and finding clients; there are many circles making up the enormous life I now lead.
– Jessica Araneta Velasco
