September was a very busy month in the world of childlessness, as it has been every September of recent years with both World Childless Week (the 8th) and the StoryhouseChildless festival (the 4th!) Although none of the live events at Storyhouse were recorded, don't forget that you can catch up with all the many submissions for WCW here (including the video conversation above with myself and Helen Louise Jones of Our Healing Voice recorded for the ‘We Are Worthy’ day), and watch all 24 of the free webinars that took place throughout the week on the World Childless Week YouTube channel.
The richness and depth of this year's WCW was beyond beautiful and I'd like to say a huge thank you to its founder Stephanie Joy Phillips, who once again hosted, managed, held and offered all of this beauty and connection completely free of charge, whilst also living through yet another gruelling year of cancer treatments. Please do consider making a donation to World Childless Week here (and save the dates in your diary for next year, 15-21st September 2025!)
Quick links on what's coming up this month's newsletter:
Gateway Elderwomen - on creating intergenerational connections and communities of care. And registrations open for December 15th's free ‘Fireside Wisdom with Childless Elderwomen’ webinar on Solo Elderhood.
Podcast: Jody's interview with Prof. Joyce Harper on including ‘childlessness’ in the story of infertility (and much more!)
From the GW Archives: my 2016 talk at the Women of the World festival in London on ‘Who’s Afraid of the Crazy Cat Lady?' Because this stuff goes back way further than JD Vance's comments!
Most of my work, including the day it takes each month to write this newsletter, is unpaid. If you'd like to support me, you can do so by becoming a paid subscriber to my Gateway Elderwomen Substack, or by leaving me a one-off tips at ‘Buy Me a Coffee’. Thank you to those of you who support me already, it means a LOT to me. And please know that if this is not possible for you, I still deeply appreciate you as a reader and I hope my work continues to support you in your life, and through your childlessness.
Thank you. This journey has always been a we, not a me, and I'm so very grateful to you for accompanying me through this ‘life unexpected’.
Although next weekend's Reignite Weekend in London is fully booked (waitlist only), there are still a few places left on the November weekend. And we now have dates right through 2025 for London & Edinburgh in the UK, as well one in March 2025 in Melbourne, Australia. More dates for next year in UK/Australia will be announced as soon as they are confirmed. See the full workshop listings, find out more about our amazing team of Licensed Gateway Women Facilitators (and the other wonderful work they do in the world), read amazing workshop testimonials and find all booking links on the Gateway Women website here.
As many of you may be aware, over the last few years, my work has been increasingly focused on the experience of elderhood without motherhood, and one of the aspects I'm really interested in (as well as creating ‘Alterkin’ local ‘communities of care’ around those of us ageing without children), is thinking about intergenerational connections. Because sadly, one of the collateral losses of not having children can often mean not having meaningful relationships with younger generations. The fact is, not all of us have niblings (nephews & nieces), and those of us that do may have not been able to develop close relationships with them due to sibling gatekeeping, estrangement, distance or other reasons; we may also have had to pull back from those relationships during our most griefy years, a rupture which is not always repairable.
So I thought you might be interested to know that I am training to become a Work That Reconnects facilitator. Based on the work of Joanna Macy (now in her 90s), it's an interactive group process that enables participants to access their grief for the world so that they can serve its healing in a more powerful and effective way. I took part in one of these workshops in 2019 and it had a huge (and continuing) impact on me. With the deeply uncertain future that all of us face, the burden of which can feel crushing for some young people, I'm planning to create workshops here in Ireland where older childless women can connect with younger adults without children (many of them choosing not to parent because of the climate emergency) for mutual learning, healing, connection and support.
I'll be writing more about this on my Substack as my plans develop and it's something that I'm really excited about. Because just as elders need youngers, youngers need elders too - especially those who've experienced the dark night of the soul that can be part of dealing with thwarted motherhood. And guess what? Climate grief, like childless grief, turns out to be yet another form of ‘disenfranchised grief’ - a grief that we're not meant to feel, discuss, experience or ask for support around - no wonder it feels so familiar!
And for those of you who are keen to know more about my ‘Alterkin’ project mentioned in the clip above (and greeted with a huge round of applause at Storyhouse last weekend!), I'll be sharing more about that as it evolves on my Substack; I'm also going to be starting a podcast interviewing others in the ‘mutual aid’ space involved in similar projects (If you know anyone, or useful resources, send them my way please!) Sign up my Substack (free or paid) to join me in going deeper into these discussions.
CAN YOU HELP? For my ‘Alterkin’ project (creating local, intergenerational, mutual-aid communities for those ageing without children), I'm looking to talk to/interview people with experience of creating (or being part of) ‘mutual aid’ projects or ‘communities of care’. If this is you, or you know of some work in this area (it's doesn't have to be ‘academic’), please can you let me know? My email is jody@gateway-women.com or you can just hit reply to this email.
