LEFT: after a 7-day fasting detox in Thailand. RIGHT: a whole department of kitty treats in a Japanese supermarket!
Dear First name / One,
Since I last popped into your inbox, I've been in Thailand to avoid a unusually cold spell in Japan (even by its winter standards!) and am now back in Japan for the final leg of this extraordinary trip; one that feels even more precious as the world order crumbles and following the deaths of close family members, dear childless community colleagues and childless therapy clients over the last couple of years. Today I'm writing from the far southern island of Okinowa on a tropical Spring Sunday afternoon, and tomorrow a hike in the far north of the island beckons - a lush nature reserve full of forests, mountains, cliffs and shy birds. Ireland is still whispering her song in my ear though, and I look forward to getting home in a few weeks to a ginger cat called Pushkin. I'm hoping he'll remember who I am - the kitty treats might help?!
March can be a challenging month for those of us in the UK & Ireland as it's ‘Mothering Sunday’ (our Mother's Day), which this year falls on Sunday 30th March. On a personal level, I'm relieved to say that it's no longer a triggering day for me, having fully integrated my childlessness into my identity, but even so, I can never be 100% sure that grief won't pop up and give me a kick in the backside - you just never know! It will be the second without my own mother (with whom I had a very complex relationship) and without my mother-in-law, with whom I shared a home. For many of us childless women, Mother's Day can be one of the toughest times of the year (up there with December's shenanigans) so I wanted to let you know that, as it does every year (and for the May International Mother's Day too), our online community is hosting an all day live support chat for Mother's Day. Whether you're an old hand and can spare an hour to support others, or are feeling excluded and blue on Mother's Day, we've got you. Click here to access/join the Childless Collective.
Eldering in a Time of Collapse - a free ‘Fireside Wisdom' webinar on Saturday 29th March is coming up. When I scheduled this forthcoming webinar last year, although I knew that the writing was on the wall for the Western world order, I had not anticipated that by March 2025 its collapse would be so clear! Whatever your age or situation, if you would like to lean into the support of your elders, please join us. The call is free, live & recorded and we have an amazing lineup of wise elders from around the world to offer their wisdom, humour, solace, perspectives and experience - the webinar is filling up fast, so please click here for more info and to register.
Can you help? Two studies that need interviewees:
1. Midlife childlessness in Ireland. If you are an involuntarily childless women aged 40-55 and living in Ireland, Sandra Coughlin is looking for anonymous interviewees to share their story. For more information, contact Sandra by email at STU90438@ardenuniversity.ac.uk by Friday 21st March. [Rest assured that all data remains fully anonymised and treated confidentially in line with General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR), Arden University Ethical Standards, and the British Psychological Society Code of Human Research Ethics].
2. Have you had coaching at work to support you with a 'CSI' - a 'concealable stigmatised identity' such as sexual orientation, illness, disability, neurodiversity, hidden ethnicity, class, parental status, gender identity, religion, etc? Sophia Andeh is a licened Gateway Women Reignite Weekend facilitator and an award-winning childless coach. She's focusing on 'CSI's' for her PhD and needs a few more candidates willing to be interviewed for her research. Taking part involves participating in a 60-90 minute interview by Zoom with Sophia over the next couple of months and all information shared within this research will be kept strictly confidential (subject to legal limitations). If you have any questions, or to obtain a participant information sheet, please email Sophia at 18024638@brookes.ac.uk
I'm thrilled to see more research taking place by, for and about the experience of involuntary childlessness; it's waaaayyy past time that our experiences became part of the story of 21st century womanhood and I'm so proud of all the researchers who are changing this. Looks like the ‘Sisters are doing it for themselves’ (showing my 80s credentials there!)
Read more about my trip to the Doilom Elephant Santuary in Thailand here.
The Reignite Weekend is the transformational healing weekend that I created in 2012 (and ran personally 50+ times!) in many different countries. It now continues with my team of licensed facilitators in the UK (London/Edinburgh) and Australia. The testimonials continue to show that this weekend often marks a ‘before’ and ‘after’ moment in the trajectory of childless women's lives. There's nothing else in the world like our Reignite Weekends, and we offer no-cost payment plans too. Maybe 2025 is the year you take the plunge? All info here.
