As you will recall from last month, I have been learning tennis. 

 

I am terrible at it. 

 

And, I love it. 

 

(Is this ringing a bell? If not, check out the last newsletter, so you are up to speed: March 2025 “Tennis and Parenting Part 1.” Go ahead. I'll wait.)

 

So, last month we talked about…say it with me… finding your Parenting Athletic Stance. 

 

Today, we talk about the all important grip. 

 

(For those of you that aren't as good at tennis as I am- and I am sure there is at least one of you out there, hopefully- grip is how you hold the racquet.

Tennis Lesson Concluded.)

 

Grip, as you can imagine, is really important. 

 

If you don’t hold the racquet tightly enough, you have no control. 

 

You take a big swing and, worst case, the racquet itself goes flying into the net and leaving you to look deeply uncool in front of all your new tennis friends you are trying so hard to impress.

 

(Or so I could imagine.)

If you hold the racquet too tightly, your whole arm tenses up, which is not good, because you need to be able to actually move through the ball and accelerate to give it enough speed to get over the net. It also tends to lead to tensing the rest of your body, which means you aren’t in your athletic stance.

 

The grip is also a major struggle in parenting, especially as our kids get older and more independent and the tightness of grip naturally needs to shift and change.

 

it makes us tense and inflexible. 

 

We end up on the tennis court of parenting looking like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz: all angles and straight lines and it is impossible to respond quickly enough to what is being thrown at us at warp speed.

Don't do this. This is not what we want.

Sometimes, usually as a result of exhaustion following all this tensing and tight gripping, we get loose with our grip. This is usually reactionary in parenting: the “Screw it! Do whatever you want!” that comes on the heels of feeling beaten down by trying so hard to control and manage. We accidentally throw the racquet across the court, leaving us empty handed which makes it really hard to be good at tennis and look cool in front of our new tennis friends that we are still trying so hard to impress.

 

(Or so I could imagine.)

 

Yep. Feels about as intuitive as parenting alright.

So, as you continue to move through this season of life, 

whatever that season may be for you, 

 

 

We are looking for the just right: 

The Goldilocks Grip.

 

And when you catch yourself gripping like a mad man, take a breath and try to give your arm a little wiggle. Feel some looseness in your body and find those places of tightness to intentionally release. Check your chest, your stomach, your jaw, your shoulders. Find the tension. See if you can let it melt away a little. 

 

And if you notice your racquet has gone flying across the court, take a breath and give yourself some grace. (We have ALL been there…am I right?!)

 

Parenting is the most humbling experience in life: we never stop learning, we never get to the place where we have it all figured out, and knowing how to connect with our kids is like trying to hit a constantly moving target. 

 

Remember: Parenting is just like tennis. 

 

It. Is. Hard. 

 

Give yourself a little pep talk, go retrieve your racquet

and get back in the game. 

I am cheering you on. Just like this. 

 

You've got this,

 

I am doing my signature Half-Day Workshop

 on "Parenting Disordered Eating, Eating Disorders and Body Image" 

on Saturday, May 17th at 9 am MST. Learn more or register here! 

 

Registration is open for my first ever Provider Course + Cohort. 

Level up your skills supporting caregivers in a safe and fun learning container. 

Reach out with any questions or book a time to chat 

to make sure it is the right opportunity for you! 

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