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Howdy First name / friend,
 
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
 
A concept as simple—and as complex—as that.
 
It’s a lofty theme for a little newsletter, and far from claiming to know the secrets of universally good communication, I simply want to bring us back to the idea of language as a tool: a key to expressing both our worldview and our sense of self—and just as powerfully, a way to shape them.
 
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So how does this apply when it comes to communicating with others?
 
When we have a clear idea of the outcome we want from a conversation—and then choose our words accordingly—we might be surprised at how much more effective (and peaceful) our communication becomes.
 
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Here’s a real-life example of an all-too-recent mistake I made with my daughter.
 
She had just finished cleaning our family car for pocket money. She came in and proudly announced it was ready for a quick look over (she’s the youngest of three—I’ve learned to do quality control before handing over cash). But she was completely dashed when I immediately launched into the things she’d missed, and she stormed off.
 
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It didn’t take me long to realise my approach was, to say the least, indelicate.
 
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When I sat with her later, I acknowledged the communication error I’d made—no one wants feedback to start with what they did wrong. And I hadn’t even thought to begin with what she’d done well.
 
So, I made an important discovery about my communication style that could be improved.
 
I released myself from harsh self-judgement.
 
I reflected on the outcome I truly wanted (in this case, starting with praise to strengthen her openness to improvement—and a cleaner car!).
 
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And now, I set this new intention when giving feedback to my loved ones.
 
Are there areas in your communication that might benefit from a little reflection—and a tidying up of intention?
 
You’ve got this - just remember:
  • Be open to the idea of doing things differently.
  • Don’t beat yourself up, but do set an intention to course-correct—and apologise if need be.
  • Be mindful of the outcome you seek, and how best to deliver the message.
  • Expect new ways of communicating to feel awkward at first—they’ll become more natural the more you practise, until they’re your new default.
 
If you’re finding the reflection part a bit tricky, feel free to revisit last week’s newsletter HERE, where you’ll find a special 6 Minute Moments created just for this series.
 
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And if you feel you might need something a little more in-depth, know that I’m here to help when needed.
 
Wishing you wonderful things in the week ahead,
 
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x Marisa
 

Nambour
Sunshine Coast, Queensland 4560, Australia