I thought for sure that my neon yellow "clown shoes" would attract compliments (if not stares) and lead to some chit chat with strangers.
Uh nope.
And frankly, I was somewhat disappointed and despondent about it:
Disappointed because I was expecting a fun interaction or two, and despondent because I'd conflated the lack of chit chat about my footwear—which I considered to be an open invitation for people to talk to me—with larger societal problems.
And there could be a grain (or more) of truth in that.
Just the simple act of making eye contact seems to be a dying art.
When I ride public transportation, I scan the bus or train for how many eyes I can see. Believe me it's far fewer than before smartphones were everywhere. It's like folks are thinking why look up and connect with one person with so many "friends" in their palm?
But not making small connections with strangers is to our detriment:
Firstly, our real friends were once people we didn't know. And even if making friends isn't the goal, connecting with people is good for a mood boost.
Plus, it can lead to important exchanges of information.
Back in the early oughts when I rode the bus to get to work at CDC, I had lively conversations with fellow riders. I learned a lot in doing so, from beauty secrets to things that I had the luxury of not worrying about. And the latter changed my behavior.
I hadn't planned on going this way but this next bit wants to be told. Because I'm writing about it more than 20 years on, you might guess that I was troubled when I learned that a planned bus route change was worse for some riders than occurred to me:
One rider needed to quit his job to find another he could access from the new route, and someone else needed to move along the new route to keep a job she couldn't quit. And let's not forget that moving itself isn't cheap.
Knowing all this encouraged me to go to public meetings held by MARTA (Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transportation Authority) to be the eyes and ears of someone who actually rode it.
So…my attendance at the meetings didn't last long because they were during work hours (not great for getting feedback from working people) and I had to use my vacation time to be there. But, ...
Talking to strangers deepened my interest in public transportation til today. And who knows, maybe one I'll do something meaningful in that realm in the future.
And maybe you can discover or deepen an interest too thanks to a stranger! But first, you must connect, and today's tiny tip to dress conspicuously can help.
Wearing something that stands out invites people to interact with us. One of my now best friends saw me at a talk and decided from my outfit that she wanted to meet.
How far would you go to stand out?
Mollie Kaye was isolated as a single parent working from home before she started "Turned-Out Tuesdays." Once a week, she leaves the house decked out in an outfit straight from the 50s to spark conversations and boost her well-being.
Oh, the second time I wore my clown shoes I had a fan and we enjoyed some glee together. 😍
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