Hi friends,

 

I'm so glad that last week’s devotion on letting go of disappointment resonated with many of you. For those who reached out, I celebrated and prayed for you. Thank you for writing to me, and keep surrendering those disappointments.

 

Today, I'm sharing three of my favorite surrender hacks for Christmas to help you avoid unnecessary frustration, unrealistic expectations, and potential conflict with family. When I say “surrender hack,” I am putting you on game, as the kids say, and teaching you highly effective surrender tools so you can celebrate the miracle of Christmas with less messiness.

 

 

Are you ready? Let’s dive in!

 

If you are like me, it's easy to pass judgment on how others are handling their business at Christmas. We may silently judge how much money people spend. We may have strong disagreement with how our married adult kids split their time between our house and the in-laws. But none of it is actually our business. 

 

If you have done my Surrendered study, you know one of my favorite sayings is “Keep Your Eyes On Your Own Hoola-Hoop.” This slogan reminds us of the keeping the focus on ourselves, not meddling in others affairs. Jesus taught this first: 

 

 

Too often, it is much easier for us to maximize other people’s faults and minimize our own. Of course, we all know people who make unwise decisions, and yes, we need to pray for them. But use your energy to focus letting God change you, not you attempting to change others. One of my favorite prayers is, “God, help them, but change me.”

 

In those moments when you are preoccupied with what others are doing, repeat to yourself, “Keep my eyes on my own hoola-hoop.”

There are some people in our lives who want to argue, be mean, or criticize. They do not care about connection because they like conflict. Some of us need to apply the following verse if we are planning to see any of those unpleasant people between Christmas and New Year. Check this out:

 

 

Romans 12:18 means you are only responsible for you. You cannot make others treat you with decency or respect. At the same time, let us not confuse grace with allowing people to treat you badly and you do nothing about it. That is not wise. Give yourself the gift of good boundaries this Christmas. Here is a helpful tool: the “2-Hour Rule.”

 

I shared the two-hour rule last Christmas season, and it was a big hit. I learned this tool from my long-time friend, Lauri. She noticed that after two hours, certain family members’ tongues loosened due to full tummies and alcohol. After witnessing one too many upsetting post-meal meltdowns, my friend adopted a two-hour limit. After eating, she visits, helps with early cleaning, and enjoys herself. Then, at the two-hour mark, she leaves and does not owe anyone an explanation. Other family members started following her example. 

 

Do you need to try the two-hour rule? If so, try it and let me know how it goes.

 

This weekend, I'll celebrate an early Christmas with my kids, my mom, and two aunts in my hometown. Like many families, we have some broken relationships and empty seats during the holiday is felt deeply. A few weeks ago, I reached out to an estranged family member and invited them to the family gathering. A year ago, this invitation couldn't have happen, but I felt prompted to make an invite. I knew it was a long shot and my invitation was respectfully declined.

 

I share this because some of you know what it feels like to hope for what seems impossible this Christmas. Yet we discussed in last week’s devotion on Zechariah and Elizabeth, God knows how to work a miracle even when we think the clock has run out. Yet, in the meantime, how do we wait in a healthy way, especially at Christmas?

 

In Surrendered, I write about “holding hope and heartache” with both hands, which acknowledges that we can trust God and still hurt over what is broken, missing, or changed. As much as I trust God, it is tempting to step in and try to move things along. To keep myself from overstepping where I need to trust God to work, surrender is required. This is where my favorite surrender prayer comes in: “God, I can’t. But You can. I will let You. Amen.”

 

This may be the prayer you need leading into the holidays. Is there a situation that is out of your control, but you are tempted to change or manipulate it? Oh friend, listen for God’s voice. Is He gently calling you to step aside and trust Him? Give yourself the gift of letting go.

 

That’s it. If you are in a Bible study or small group, today’s devotion could be a great discussion starter to help you and your friends prepare your hearts and pray together.

 

I would love to hear from you: Which tool do you need to use this Christmas? Hit reply and write “Hoola Hoop,” “2-Hour Limit,” or “Prayer,” and I would love to pray for you. So that you know, I will be working on all three.

 

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