Not being in control is so hard to accept! In my Surrendered Bible study, I write that as women, we want three things: to protect what we love, fix what's broken, and keep everyone and everything on track. We do a great job at all of this! And because of that, people rely on us for help and we'll do whatever we can. But doing whatever we can doesn't mean that God has put us in control.
Sometimes, certain circumstances are beyond our control. Last week, one Happy Monday reader gave me permission to share her story:
Barb, I'm invited to my great-granddaughter's birthday party. Yet my grandson did not invite his dad because they're having some kind of issues. I really don't know the whole ordeal, but it's something between my daughter-in-law and my grandson's wife. This problem hurts me so much. I just want to get the four of them together and sort this out. But I'm not in control of others or outcomes. It's in God's hands. -from B
I know many of you can relate to family situations between other adults where you truly want to help. And how many of us have tried to help, only to have good intentions blow up in our faces?
1. Let's look at the first half of Surrender Principle #1: "I am not in control..."
The reality is that the only person we're in charge of is ourselves. One well-known Christian business owner said, "If I could control the person in my mirror, I'd be skinny and rich." We struggle to manage ourselves, and yet something inside us wants to tell others what they should do.
Dear friend, I know you're smart and resourceful. You know how to figure things out! I suspect you've prayed a lot about your situation or about the person who really needs to be straightened out. But that still doesn't mean God has placed the responsibility on you to fix what isn't yours to fix, even if you're impacted by the consequences.
Here's the bottom line: Acknowledging that we're not in control is a practice we should take time to do each day! If we don't acknowledge this, we will carry either the weight of the situation or the weight of responsibility, and feeling stressed out or hopeless is sure to follow.
The good news is that when we proclaim with our heads and our hearts, "I am not in control..." we begin to make room for God to restore our peace, settle our hearts, and calm our minds. We feel the weight roll off our shoulders, the tension in our necks release, and we can finally breathe again. You may even sleep better at night knowing that God's got it! Think of Surrender Principle #1 as a form of self-care that helps you fight anxiety.
Let's Try It: Think of something you are not in control of and say the following:
I am not in control of __(fill in the blank)___.
2. Let's move on to the second half of Surrender Principle #1, which is just as challenging:"...of others or outcomes."
There's a picture in our heads of how we think others should live or how the future should turn out. Maybe it's a really lovely picture of everyone sitting in church together, robust bank accounts, thriving kids or grandkids, or a husband who picks up his socks off the floor. There's nothing wrong with that!
When we release control of others and outcomes, the blessing is that we're more able to cling to hope in God's promises. Another bonus is that we avoid running ahead of God and inserting ourselves into situations that may create conflict with others.
Does this mean you stay quiet when someone is hurting themselves or others? Absolutely not! There's wisdom in Scripture that tells us how to approach others, particular believers, but you can reference this wisdom:
Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.
-Galatians 6:1 NLT
This verse guides us to helping others, but this teaching doesn't mean you're now responsible for their lives. They belong to God, not you. If you are concerned and would like to talk with someone in a healthy way,
here is a resource you can check out.
As we wrap up today's devotion…
Even though we may not have control of others or outcomes, God never loses control. We can trust Him! Rather than feeling discouraged by what we see, let us never forget that nothing is too hard for God! With Him all things are possible, and part of that is trusting His timing and His ways.
SURRENDER PRINCIPLE #1 REFLECTION
- What do you need to admit to God and yourself that you aren't in control of?
- Who do you need to stop trying to fix because you realize you're doing too much?
- What picture in your head do you need to let go of so that you can ask for help, live in reality, or make decisions that are healthy for you?
I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! As you reflect on today's devotion, what situation or person do you need to release control of and surrender to God?
