Chapter Four
TYSAN
Well. That was done.
Shit.
I rolled away from Kase, taking the sheet with me. I’d never been self-conscious with Aiden, never. God. Shame was rising up throughout my whole body. It was so painful, I had to pause a moment, breathe through it. I took a tally of where my clothes were and bent, grabbing what was closest. My top. I pulled the rest of the sheet with me, wrapping it tightly as I collected the rest of my items.
“He’s not responding to my texts.”
I looked over, seeing Kase had moved and was sitting on his side of the bed, his phone in hand. His jaw was grim, his hair falling over his forehead. His entire shoulder and chest were just tight with anger. His thumb was moving over his phone, and he cursed a second later. “He’s at my family’s lake house. Sadie is at my family’s lake cabin. The fucking asshole. He’s dead.”
I tensed.
Yes, there was a mountain of hurt moving through my entire body like a glacier. That was mixed up with all the conflicting emotions about what we just did, that I enjoyed it, that I wanted—no, not going there—that I was feeling guilty, like I had cheated on Aiden, but the fury. There was so much rage too.
But now, concern?
“Get over yourself.”
He pierced me with those eyes, his jaw clenching again. “Say what?”
I flushed, ignoring how that was coming out as a threat. And I tipped my chin up and screw being self-conscious. My faults. I knew them, but being embarrassed about my body wasn’t one of them. Good grief. I’d modeled in the past and knew I’d probably do more to get by at college, but I wasn’t going to let this shame start to change my insides.
Having sex was my sin, my only sin, and I wasn’t going to be ashamed of that either.
I threw down the blanket and glared, noting his eyes were growing molten again, but I ignored that and bent to start pulling on my clothes. I yanked on my shirt, pulling it down, and kept up with the glaring. “Don’t do that shit. Don’t take away this justified anger that I have for Aiden and make me shove that down, so that I’m calling him and warning him you’re heading his way with death threats. Don’t do that.”
His eyes were narrowed to slits, and his nostrils flared. “He’s fucking my sister.”
That was another thing we had in common. We both knew the situation and accepted it. Others might’ve argued, wanted to deny or lie to themselves. Not Kase. Not me. We both had the ability to read the writing on the wall and proceed accordingly.
“Yeah,” I bit out, grabbing my jeans and pulling them up. “I’m quite aware, trust me.”
Where were my sandals?
The room was in disarray. Bedding had been tossed around. The pillows—one was in the bathroom. Half the fitted sheet was off the bed, and none of that happened when Aiden had been in here.
I felt a lump sitting in my chest, right in the way of everything.
I cursed, then spotted one of my sandals. One was under the loveseat in the room. How had that gotten there? I grabbed it, and bent down, looking for the other.
“Fuck me.”
I froze, hearing those soft words from him, but spotted my second sandal. Nabbing it, I turned and looked over, now cautious.
He was shaking his head at me. “You’re not going to tell him, are you? You and me.”
That knot in my chest just got a whole lot heavier.
I stood up and toed on my sandals, then started looking for whatever else I had coming in here. Purse? No. I’d only had my phone and keys on me. I left my purse at home, but my I.D.? I felt the back of my pockets, and phew. They were there.
My keys, though…?
I spotted my phone on the couch and checked for messages.
There were twenty-three.
Frowning, I put in my code and pulled up whoever had left those.
“You going to answer me?” he clipped out.
“Nope.” I shifted back on my foot, settling in, and my mind was blown.
Text after text from Aiden. A good whole chunk of texts were from Sadie, complete with a voice message on one.
I hit play, sitting down on the loveseat as Kase’s little sister’s voice filled the room, “Oh my God, Tysan.” She broke off, sobbing. “Aiden told me that he told you. I’m—you’re not responding to him or me, but I’m so sorry. You and me, we were friends, and I can tell you that we never wanted this to happen—”
I hit delete, my stomach threatening—nope. Not threatening.
I shot for the bathroom, hitting the floor right as my stomach emptied itself into the toilet.
I retched, then retched again.
Sweat trickled down my face, my back. A droplet fell from the top of my nose.
I smelled disgusting. Felt disgusting. I was disgusting.
Sweat. Sex. Vomit. What else?
“You and Sades were tight.”
I groaned. He’d followed me to the bathroom, standing in the doorway, and I looked up. He’d pulled on his pants, but no shirt. I could see my nail marks down his front, and knew there were matching marks on his back. I could almost feel his marks on me. My neck. My breasts. Lower. And then even lower.
I felt him all over me again, inside of me.
“Tysan, RUN!”
I flinched, hearing my mom’s scream from that night so long ago.
I gritted my teeth. Where the hell had that come from? Like I didn’t have enough to deal with right now.
“Can you not start?” My voice came out rough, and I grabbed a washcloth, swiping it over my face. The party was still going. I didn’t know how long we’d been in here, but I was sure whoever was still down there was beyond plastered. Most parties cleared out after a few hours, but the rest liked to stay forever.
I’d need to sneak out.
I could do that.
Go down the stairs.
I knew this house. It was Ben Drain’s house, and his parents had an exit door to the bedroom. Or, crap. If that was being used, I’d go through the garage, but no. Everyone would be around. I thought there was a side door somewhere.
“You’re a vengeful bitch. I’m livid with my sister, but are you going to plan something against Sadie?” He squatted and stared me down. There was no mercy, no kindness. Just hardness and cement. That was how Kase was, though. He was only kind to his sister, his mom, and Aiden. Even their other friends were wary around Kase. He didn’t like anyone much, now that I was thinking about it, but his absolute hatred was usually only toward me.
I sat back against the wall, my knees up, and I rested my arms over them.
My entire body was exhausted, and I stared at him, my head against the wall. “What are you going to do to Aiden?”
His glare was like ice, and a chill went through me. He raised an eyebrow. “You bargaining for your ex for the chick he’s banging?”
I winced. “That chick is your sister.”
“Not from your point of view. What are you doing here, Coda? We just got done going three rounds and now you’re worried what I’ll do to the guy who screwed you over? Because, fact check, that ain’t me. That’s golden boy.”
I watched my mom murdered in front of me.
My dad was hardly around.
It’d only been Aiden all my life.
I looked away. “Can’t erase someone who’s been there for you most of your life.”
“Yeah, you can.” He stood, and I looked back. His eyes were so cold, staring down at me. “I won’t physically cause permanent damage to him if you promise to stay away from my sister.”
Another deal with this devil?
I closed my eyes, saying quietly, “Fine.”
“Fine.” He disappeared from the door, but came back and keys were put on the counter. “Do me a favor? Don’t give him a heads-up I’m coming.”
I didn’t have anything more in me, so I let my head nod a little, and he was gone in the next instant.
I wanted to lie down and cry.
I wanted to lie down and disappear.
Instead, I stood. I washed myself up, and then I left.
Everyone was wasted when I got to the first floor, and I went down, finding the side door that I remembered from other times of being at Ben’s house. As I walked across the lawn and headed down the driveway, then the street where my car was parked, I could hear the others still partying behind me.
I never had a lot of close friends in school, but I had casual friends. A lot of casual friends. Girls that I hung out with at parties, or rode with going to away games if Aiden was playing, but it was all different now.
I knew I wouldn’t be reaching out to any of them, or keeping in contact.
Aiden had been my family. Sadie too, in a way. I always considered her my little sister, or I wanted to, so badly.
That was gone too.
I got to my car, thankful that he told me he wanted to meet me at the party, but now knowing why, and I couldn’t stop the tears any longer.
They flowed as I drove home.
I turned my phone off, climbed into my bed, and I cried the rest of the night.
Fuck Aiden.
