A few weeks ago I was playing with my daughter and she paused and looked at me and said, “Mama you know when I saw you crying and you told me you were just tired? I knew you were lying.” And I haven't stopped thinking about that moment since. It's a funny thing about kids, you think they're not paying attention, but they notice everything.
Taking a much needed break..
After that comment from my daughter, I knew I needed to do something. I made an announcement on Instagram that I'll be taking a break mostly because I knew if I didn't I would never take it. And I mean a real break, not a 24-48 hour one. I don't know how long, but it will likely be 2 weeks (ish). I need some time to unplug, clear my mind, and most importantly, do absolutely nothing. Because if I don't, my stress will literally kill me. And if you're someone that needed to hear that, consider this a sign to prioritize yourself.
It's no secret that the universe has thrown me a lot of lemons the past year. Some I've talked about, some I've chosen to keep private. And for awhile I thought sweeping things under the rug was for champions but I can assure you that doesn't work and it's now biting me in the ass. I am no longer “crying on the inside like a winner.”
I need a break to process everything that's happened and is happening--God, litigation is fun. I need time to reflect on what I want to do with this crossroads in my life, and more importantly, to clear the noise so I can focus on all the positive things in my life. Because despite all the shit that's happened, I have so much to be grateful for.
I am such a walking cliche.
I don't have a handbook for this stuff, but I've watched enough movies to know I'm nothing short of a walking cliche these days. Tragedy hits the main character (hi, that's me), character freaks out and has several breakdowns and feels sorry for herself, then cue the inspirational music along with a montage of some soul searching and a happy ending. Ok that last part hasn't happened for me yet, but I know it will. I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES.
My break will consist of that cliche montage, preferably to this song that I've been listening to on repeat. I have no other hope than to come back feeling a little less like a permanently exhausted pigeon, and one with a little more clarity on how I want to move forward with my life (and w/ Pretty on Fridays).
However, I know one thing for sure, I love you guys. Thank you for sticking with me through this journey. I know my content has been sporadic and delayed, and I appreciate you. You are my people.
Things I loved this week
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I'll be off Instagram for awhile, but don't be afraid to drop me an email and say hi. Send me some non-fiction book or podcast recs, or heck send me something good that's happened to you that you want to share. Love you, meannitttt.
