Hi! I hope to get back to sending these more regularly. As we all are, I am processing change, uncertainty, joy, kindness, ups, and downs. Time feels like it is moving faster than I would like, you? I have ideas but my ability to collect them, choose when, how, and where to share them has been stifling me lately. ie.Which bucket do I put them in? Is it an ig caption? A voice text? A podcast? For my therapist or my morning pages? My friends at the coffee shop? Until I move through that, I only have the capacity to send a list. Therefore like the last dispatch I sent, I will pretend to be featured on, Perfectly Imperfect and share a list of a few bright spots and truly random bits. The list I'd send Perfectly Imperfect if I were asked to be a guest todayā¦ - Paying attention to the moon- Thursday was the new moonā¦if you're reading this the day it comes out we're still in the 48 hours after. If you want to work with the moon and set some intentions this is a post where I talked about how I do it.
- Wearing socks with Birkenstocks or clogs- I work at a shop and even though it's warm outside, with the air conditioning on and the multiple fridges and freezers we have, plus restocking cold beer for 5 hours I get freezing real quick. One day I had a pair of socks in my car and slipped them onā¦ got some compliments. Now i always carry a pair with me. I like these socks a lot. I notice that several of my friends wear colored socks or striped socks, see belowā¦
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3. Yogurt- My relationship to food is complicated. Therefore, there are still foods I don't even realize I avoid. Dairy hasn't really been something I've craved. Perhaps because I didn't allow myself to eat it for so long? Well that changed. I crave yogurtā¦ and not coconut yogurt that I've been buying for years but all types of thick dairy yogurt. A friend is pregnant and she's been eating a ton of yogurt. I told her that I'm catching her cravings or getting them in solidarity. Either way, I'm enjoying it. And trying to lean into what I'm craving in general rather than avoid foods I'm used to avoiding. 4. Putting yogurt in the freezer for 20-30 min- Trust me or try this from ig. I have it saved but keep forgetting to try it myself, let me know if you do. 5. A book that helped me- It could be the longest of stories but to keep this tight I will just say I have had several, what Iāll call, structural issues in my body. Meaning back pain, butt pain, pinched nerves, sciatica , herniated disk, hip impingement, you name it Iāve probably had it or had an MRI for it or gone to a doctor in Michigan, New York, or most recently LA for it. I come from a sea of back pain. My mom had two back surgeries when I was growing up. My grandfather, her dad too. So I was convinced it was hereditary.
Until early this year, it was fine save for a flare up here and there. But then in early February, it got terrible. My pain was so bad for months I couldnāt walk or sit comfortably. I had to take steroids to try to help it, yet nothing helped it. I saw several doctors. I got depressed. One day on on the phone with my friend Isabel she could hear the desperation in my voice and she recommended I read this book I said no. I had already tried reading the book years before and didnāt like it or believe in it. Furthermore, the pain I was experiencing wasnāt even in my back. It was in my butt and hip. I already had the book and picked it up a few days later. It comforted me. I wanted to believe the case studies that Dr. Sarno, the author outlined within it. The major point I got from the bookāor at least how I interpreted it is that our bodies are elaborate systems. Keep in mind, I'm not a doctor and this very well could be wrong or I misremembered but this is how I remember what I read months agoā¦When we have an emotional pain or stress or emotionā¦that we donāt want to feel, we will avoid feeling it by distraction. Even if it is subconscious. And this distraction can come in the form of a physical distraction paināmeaning our bodies cut off blood flow and oxygen to a part of our body causing pain. Our physical body does this to to protect us from the emotion. Now that we are experiencing physical sensation we are distracted from the emotion because we're thinking about the pain.
The answer to the physical symptoms going away isnāt to eliminate unpleasant emotions or; stresses in our livesāthat would be impossible. Rather, to simply notice the uncomfortable emotion or acknowledge their presence. Not necessarily processing them even but just paying attention to them instead of paying attention to the physical pain, specifically the fear of the pain. According to my memory of the book the pain can dissipate when you stop fearing it is a structural abnormality and entertain the idea it could be coming from an emotional stress. The physical symptoms are very much real, intense, and difficult and he speaks to that. This might not work for everyone but I will say it did help me so Iām sharing. I likely explained incorrectly. And it might be placebo or I hope it is not problematic, I only know I found comfort in it and that my horrible pain feels better now and I donāt know exactly why. The pain returns occasionally still but it is not as bad as it was earlier this year. 6. Dr. Patti Kim if you're in LA or virtually- Related to the above, the importance of quality connection, physical contact and care is healing. If youāve listened know that Dr. Patti Kim is my friend who has done the podcast twice. Sheās also an experienced acupuncturist. As a practitioner, I hadnāt experienced her work until one night when I was in particularly rough shape with the body pain I mentioned above I came over to her house. I had just started the book so I was optimistic but in pain. As I weaseled around in front of her, obviously uncomfortable, she could sense something was wrong. We sat on her porch for a moment and then she said, sweetly and softly, āDo you want me to stick some needles in you? Iām really good at what I do and acupuncture can really help with pain."
āLiterally you could make me a porcupine. I would do anything to make this go away," I said.
I'd tried acupuncture before I left New York and it didnāt help but at that point, I was open to anything. Iām not sure if it was her bedside manner, her years of experience, or her genuine care, but after just one session with her I stood up andā¦ um I can't believe I'm saying thisā¦ I felt better. The pain in my butt and long my leg that had plagued me for months was gone. It wasn't forever but the spasm I was in ended and it hasn't returned at that intensity since. Iām not saying this will happen to you or that acupuncture is the cure all for everything or that you should book a session with my friend and she will cure you of all your aliments in one goā¦ because that is a lot of pressure on my friend and might not be feasible. Like the above, I am just sharing my experience of what happened to help me at a time when I was in a lot of physical and emotional pain.
This was back in February so nearly seven months have past and honestly I havenāt been able to talk about it or share about bit because it was intense. And I didnāt want to jinx it. I am not a doctor or medical professional of any type, as you know, this is just me sharing my experience more as, āwow wild story Iām really grateful forā¦.' I'm just sharing. If you are wanting to try acupuncture or need a practitioner I absolutely recommend my friend Dr. Patti and the support that she offers. She is the best at what she does, but above all sheās a really caring person. I can vouch for both. 7. Sending your friends the photos you want to post so they'll see. - Sometimes I would post things on my ig story that I really just wanted to show and tell with a few people however, instead I'd post it there for many to see hoping one or two would. I don't have a close friends list on there and I don't want to. Instead I now just send images to people when I feel like it with the caption: āviewā 8. tea bags I like to keep in my pocket for I'm when at work or traveling, which I haven't been doing this tea is a favorite. 9. Jicama āso much Iāve been eating jicama since college when I embarrassingly made videos for my college newspaper and featured jicama in a recipe. I love crunchy foods and heard once craving crunch means you have repressed anger. Repressed anger is also actually a theme in the book I mentioned above and it came up on this episode with Valā¦ so I guess I have a pattern. 10. Canned hearts of Palm- not much to say about this one, they are salty, cheap, shelf stable, great in salads. If you like the flavor of artichokes and salty items like olives etc. this is the food item for you. 11. No plans- Iāve been trying to not have any plans and just seeing whatās happening in the neighborhood. Leaving open space to work or write to sleep. This wouldāve scared the shit out of me years ago when I planned something for most every night but now the thought of that terrifies meā¦ we change. 12. The Movie Almost Famous- All my friends went to go see it in the cemetery this month and I forgot to buy a ticket before I sold out. Bummed, I decided Iād watch it on my tiny laptop alone in my apartment. And I forgot how much I love it. And the next day I showed up at the bar we go to most nights in an outfit that made my friend say: āWhen did you turn into Penny Lane?ā
I still regret that my response back wasnāt coolerā¦ something Penny would've said. 13. Going all in on water intake. - I got this water bottle it fits in my car cup holder which I appreciate. And I'm trying to be better about drinkingā¦ keeping a full tank of waterā¦ 14. Bed low to the ground- If you listened to my episode with Tim Masters you know I got a new bed. But I also put it down low to the ground by having a friend saw the legs, which helps make the ceiling look even higher. 15. Skincare routine - I've been noticing my skin aging and my pores becoming bigger, but no one looks at our skin as up close as we do. So I'm trying not to obsess about it, and instead just take care of my skin the best I can. Here's what I do consistently: - Wear this sunscreen daily.
- A couple of times a week I use these pads that were recommended to me by my dermatologist in New York. I trusted and liked her so much I had her on my podcast which you can listen to here.
- Wash my face with this cleanser and a second wash with the Milk Cleanse the cleanser I love more than any Iāve ever tried ever. I talked to them to get a code for you so the code katiedalebout10 works for the cleanser as well as anything on their site. I love their cosmic cream and acid potion too.
Items with codes Iām genuinely using and lovingā¦
but of course no pressure on this or anything I tell you ever, ever, ever... - Pillz-ā¦ in the last letter I mentioned switching to a a new gluten free version of the one vitamin I take. I am fine with gluten but I decided to try this version when Natalia, who works for the company, told me she likes it better. I met Natalia in the customer support chat. She told me she listens to the podcast. The supplement helps with skin and hair growth including eyelashes, nails. Natalia made us a discount code: LETITOUT and the supplement is called Primeadine. Happy to answer any more questions you have on it. Or anything.
- My mind hurts so bad this kinda helps. My friend Val gave me one of these tiny green drinks and I love them, and now they're a sponsor of the podcast but this is a genuine recommendation for this weird small drink I have before coffee. I drink a magic mind on my walk to coffee and it helps me wake up and focus. I usually have one later in the morning and sometimes afternoon too. Always before I record an interview. If you and yours want to use it too, it is for 40 percent off a subscription or 20 percent off a single purchase: here and use code letitout20
And Iām happy to answer any questions you have for me as well. In the meantime, below are several episodes of the show. !!!!!! HELP !!!!!! Who would you like to see on the podcast next? What would you like me to discuss? Love you, Katie PS NEW BUSINESS
I have one spot open in the creative clinic. If you want to work with me one on-one for ā¦ book a free intro session . Or if you don't know what it is and want toā¦listen to this episode from last summer which explains it. Or read this. |
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Slow like snails: virgie tovar returns! |
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I had a conversation with Virgie Tovar: author, activist and one of the nation's leading experts on weight-based discrimination and body image. She holds a Master's degree in Sexuality Studies with a focus on the intersections of body size, race and gender. She is a contributor for Forbes and has been featured by the New York Times, BBC, MTV, Al Jazeera, NPR, and many more. We met a few years ago through our mutual friend Isabel Foxen Duke and Iām lucky to call her a friend. We talked over Zoom for two hours and our conversation (broken up into two parts) covered dressing rooms, letting go of a normative timeline, control, markers of success, happiness research, and more. Part 2 features clips from previous conversations and includes a special guest, our āconnectorā Isabel. |
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FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS This week I've been thinking about my friendships. Over the last two years, I've invested more in relationships with platonic friends than anything else. More than my career, more than my home, more than dating or romance, more than familyā¦ more than all of those things combined actually. I was starting to wonder if that was the wrong place to invest my time and energy? It isn't what society often shows people invest in. I was reminded of this post I wrote about a year ago where I transcribed part of an interview. Do you invest in friendships? I'm genuinely curious. Kayleen Schaefer wrote a seminal text about friendship, her first book Text Me When You Get Home and clearly I talk about friendship frequentlyā¦ so we had an idea to explore friendships ending. If you want to tell us about your friend breakup and ask a question, fill out this survey. Kayleen is offering to give away five copies of her latest book We'll pick winners randomly from everyone who fills this out. |
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trauma, money & women with business advisor jocelyn kelly reid + kindness and sleep with tim masters |
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I had a conversation with Jocelyn Kelly Reid. With 15 years of sales and marketing experience, she now helps women around money and finance in a unique way. Sheās personally lost everything and built it back up and now she has the ability to help others do the same. We talked about trauma, burnout, needing open space, working through financial blocks, her embodiment practice, the importance of directly communicating needs, how you can be addicted to a person, and much more. Jocelyn talks in depth about her background and upbringing where she felt different from those around her, recovering from an eating disorder, and feeling ātoo muchā. This episode also features my lovely conversation with midwestern mattress maker and father of five Tim Masters, founder of My Green Mattress. I genuinely loved speaking with Tim as much as he loves making mattresses for people. He talks about taking over a mattress business when he was young, living in the apartment above it, and how one day a woman came into the shop who read his palm and told him he was meant to heal people. That helped him realize he does just that through his ability to find the correct-fitting, non-toxic mattress for every body that walks into his shop regardless of size or shape. |
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top image: still from Almost Famous, 2000 image three still from Ben Wilson, Dolphins 1998ā equator *** |
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