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For you this week:

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Hi friend,
 
If you've worked with me in the past (for anything!) and you had a great experience, I'd love to hear about it! Just reply to this email, and with your permission I'll post your review (anonymously or with your name).
 
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Also, starting September 1, I’m opening up five special spots for mini portrait and boudoir sessions at this November’s Exhale Retreat, exclusively for retreat attendees. Here are details.
 
On to this week's letter:
 
As we consider the concept of size contrition, let's look at the "fuck flattering" trend that's been sweeping the body positivity movement.
 
On its face, "fuck flattering" is a rejection of size contrition and the forbearance it can generate. There's a great article by Alysse D'alessandro at The Body is Not An Apology that talks about "flattering" as a fashion concept and why people are rejecting it.
 
What I want to look at today, though, is why "fuck flattering" has remained a fashion strategy mostly limited to people who are smallfat and smaller.
 
People who are in relatively small bodies have a relatively large amount of thin privilege and social capital to "spend."
 
(This level of privilege is, of course, affected by all the other types and amounts of privilege -- or lack thereof -- that each of us possesses due to all our different intersecting identities.)
 
When our existing level of privilege is high, we can afford to "spend" some of it on refusing to perform size contrition, knowing that the penalty for doing so will be softened by our privilege.
 
(In fact, people in thin bodies can use "fuck flattering" to increase their already-high levels of thin privilege, by appearing rebellious against an oppressive system that affects them very little to begin with.)
 
However, people in larger fat bodies most often simply don't have the privilege or social capital to stop looking contrite for any length of time. 
 
Our public contrition may be the only difference between getting and not getting the job we're interviewing for, or commuting today without getting a nasty comment from a stranger, or receiving the medical procedure we need.
 
How much do you need to perform size contrition in your own life? Are you able to access "fuck flattering" in any meaningful way?
Warmly,
Lindley
 
P.S. Share this week's letter or save to read later here. It's only possible to offer the Body Liberation Guide and all its labor for free because people like you support it. If you find value here, please contribute for as little as $1 per month. Every dollar helps.
 

The Conversation

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"The ocean does not apologize for its depth and the mountains do not seek forgiveness for the space they take and so, neither shall I." » Becca Lee
 

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