Mel Robbins was on Jay Shetty's podcast talking about what she called her “campaign of misery"and letting go of her negative thoughts. She shared a ton of great stories and perspectives that I loved. I highly recommend listening, but I did want to share one exercise that she shared at the end of the episode.
Her daughter had just graduated from college, and was very unhappy. She had her draw a line straight down the middle of a piece of paper. The column on the left said “happy me,” and in this column, she asked her to write down the last time she remembers feeling happy, confident, and alive. Her daughter said it was her Senior year in high school. She then had her write down all the things she did in a week during that time, and asked her to really go in detail. She wrote things like: I got up at 6am, hung out with my friends all day, I was looking forward to college, I played varsity lacrosse, exercised 6 days a week, only partied with friends twice a week, was in a healthy dating relationship, and ate four dinners a night at home. Then, in the right column, she asked her to write about her life now. She wrote things like: I sleep till 1pm, I drink everyday, I feel like I don't see my friends, I have nothing to look forward to, and I'm not exercising.
She then looks at her daughter and says, ok, now compare the two. Your own life experience is the map. She goes on to say how we tend to over complicate things, but that happiness is found in the little things. I found this exercise incredibly powerful.
