I reached peak adulthood this week when I purchased a bird feeder that attaches to my window. As soon as the first bird landed on that plastic feeder I was paralyzed with excitement, and when the second one joined in 20 minutes later I almost peed my pants. "Is this what ecstasy feels like?" I asked my husband right before he rolled his eyes, kissed me on the forehead, and slammed the door in my face.

In other equally exciting news, I went in for an Invisalign consult this week. Despite having braces for 5.5 years when I was a kid, my teeth have since shifted and I've been dying to get them fixed. You know how you almost always run into someone at the store when you look your absolute worst? Well this consult was like that, except it was permanently documented roughly 24,567 times.  

 

I show up completely disheveled with no makeup and 5 day old hair. The nice nurse escorts me to the teal leather chair and proceeds to shove a device into my mouth. This device takes hundreds of pictures a minute all while your teeth are broadcast on the largest screen I've ever seen in my entire life so you (and everyone in the office) can see every stain and imperfection on your teeth. So exciting! Then, my favorite part, she asks me to stand up so she can take pictures. PICTURES. Today of all days when I look like an escaped convict who just got run over by a bus. Why didn't I properly get ready? Oh that's right, I've had a very busy schedule of bird watching. She then proceeds to take a million pictures of my face, while asking me to make different facial expressions and exaggerated smiles. Because if I didn't already look like a lunatic, I definitely did after that photo shoot.

 

Needless to say, this is your PSA to look like a civilized human being should you choose to go in for an Invisalign consult. You have been warned.

Get it hooker pigeons. Get it.

 

 

I didn't know who Chris Williamson was before listening to him on an episode on Steve Bartlett's podcast, but I was intrigued by the trailer. He talks about how he was bullied, how he tried hard to fit in and be popular, the price you pay for success, reprogramming the toxic drive you have, and a very interesting conversation about why men and women are no longer compatible.

 

He goes into statistics about men, women, relationships, dating, sex…etc But when he started to discuss the success of women and their high expectations, I was a bit put off by the way he framed the conversation. His plea for more women to be stay at home moms felt very “get back in the kitchen” to me, but I'll let you be the judge of that. And while he brought up some valid points around the #metoo movement, the conversation felt very one-sided, and misinformed.  With all that said, the conversation was fascinating. 

 

I asked you all for your “funniest/most awkward” misunderstandings and you delivered. A very small snippet is below, but click here for the full responses.