I finished the book Never Enough. It's about how achievement culture can become toxic, and honestly a great read whether you're a parent or not. It's filled with good nuggets of wisdom, but the chapter around “mattering” especially resonated with me.
In a world obsessed with achievement, the author talks about the the importance of unconditional “mattering” to drown out all the messages our kids receive from society. LOVED this story below:
Here's a mattering lesson. One night when her teenager was obsessively worrying about an upcoming test, a mother pulled out a $20 bill from her wallet. She crumbled it, put it on the floor, theatrically squashed it, and then dunked it in a glass of water. Picking up the soiled soggy money, she said to her son, “Remember. Like this $20 bill, our value doesn't change even when we're dirty, bruised, and soaking wet. Like when we get a bad grade, or get cut from the team, or mess up in a million ways.”
She also talks about cultivating the skill of downtime and how important it is for us to model that behavior. The entire book is thought provoking, especially if you grew up in achievement culture. Highly recommend, such a great read.
