“I lost the only friend I ever had, in a car accident on the A4 expressway, on March 15, 1982. After that, his widow gave me three things. An index card on which she had written ‘You were his only true friend;’ a faded Ohio University sweatshirt that he would wear when we played soccer; and a 148-page manuscript called The Enemy Within. That friend was Dominique Duvauchelle. He was a journalist and writer, but his time ran out before he could have the manuscript published. It is a unique piece of writing. |
|
I’ve misplaced a lot of things as I’ve moved house over the years, but not this text. I tried to read it several times, of course. Unsuccessfully. |
|
« I didn't get the story or the characters. In fact, it put me off so much that I would give up after 5 or 6 pages. » |
|
Years later, I came across a novel that I had found in a hotel. Or, rather, it found me. It was A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami. I spotted it there in a corridor, as if it were waiting for me. It showed me that books are living beings that only open up to us when they really want to. |
|
The narrator in Murakami’s book is in pursuit of a sheep and his lost friend. Meanwhile, I was in pursuit of Dominique. Only after I read that Murakami novel again did I make a new attempt to read the manuscript. |
|
Dominique’s text opened up to me as if by magic. The pages became profound, luminous. I was finally ready for his message. It took me 42 years. |
|
The Enemy Within recounts the unhappy experience of a drafted soldier who faces the absurdities of the army and becomes a fierce opponent to the military. But beyond the story, what fascinated me was the texture of the characters, who sometimes reminded me of myself. In particular, there is a spineless boy who submits to the military establishment and serves the nation without questioning the harm that he is causing to others. I saw myself in him without having any way of asking Dominique whether I had been his inspiration. I was alarmed to see how the boy’s actions reflected my own. That observation drove me into a deep introspection. The book showed me that there is no single truth. There are no heroes or villains: we all have to live with our imperfections. |
|
« One of my own truths is that I was in love with Dominique. » |
|
It was love in the ethereal sense of the word. I loved Dominique as we love those whose loss sends us back to our solitude. Perhaps our upbringing erected a platonic wall between us. He had just become a father when he died. That was the expected thing to do. His death, like his manuscript, left me with many questions. Had our connection been in my head? Was I a closet homosexual? |
|
At the time, I didn’t understand why Dominique’s widow had entrusted the document to me. But now it’s much clearer. Growing older decidedly makes it easier to figure people out. She was 28 years old when her husband died. In the days that followed his death, I wore a black anorak that made me look like a hairy raven. Meanwhile, she was wearing bright red dresses. Unlike me, she had decided not to carry that burden for the rest of her life. The manuscript would have haunted her as it has haunted me. When Dominique died, I had the childish reflex of telling myself that he was still lingering there, not far from me, not far from the hospital, and that I could get him to ‘stay’ by sharing my body with him. I was convinced that he had entered into me! That we were two beings in the same body. That was my way of carrying on his memory. |
|
So it seems quite fitting that the title of the book should be ‘the enemy within.’ After living together for 42 years, I wonder whether he likes what I have become, this friend who was everything to me? Does he still live within me today? Or is he getting ready to leave? |
|
Dominique Duvauchelle in 1981. |
|
Today I am 71. But I also might be 29, the age I was when he passed away. That connection with him makes me want to get back to writing. Perhaps I'll write a complement to Dominique’s The Enemy Within. In fact, what I decide to do with his manuscript might trigger his decision to stay within me... Or to leave.” |
|
Lately, at PLUME® PLUME® • The agency becomes a registered trademark. Like a seal we affix to each of our productions. The culmination of 6 years of unique style, methods and values. Sabre Paris • Summer takes a seat at Sabre’s table with three landing pages written in French, English, and German. Vins de Provence • The French appellation invited our founder to discover its vibrant rosé in the second season of “Rosé de Provence Diaries”. SNCF Connect • The platform sent out the second edition of “Correspondances,” the innovative, participative, highly inspiring newsletter that we publish. Lancôme • The brand reveals its new spokesmodels through extensive interviews. The latest is with the “Queen of France,” Aya Nakamura. More to follow. American Vintage • The Marseille-based label publishes its first paper city guides, compiling local recommendations. Chanel • Galerie du 19M welcomed our founder for a reading followed by a talk on the power of friendship. Le Doyenné • We wrote the venue's very first press release when it appeared on the World's 50 Best Restaurants list. Biltoki • France's most popular food court chose us when rewriting its brand book, editorial charter, and history. |
|
16 rue de la Pierre Levée
Paris, 75011, France |
|
|
|
