I’m so glad you’re joining me today! How are you? We're four days from Christmas. We'd love for the most wonderful time of the year to be the most memorable time of the year. But, let's be honest…Christmas is a lot! As women, we often manage Operation Christmas: the shopping, baking, gift buying, RSVPs, and logistics. I’m not saying husbands or other family members don’t help, but generally, the ladies are in charge.
Right now, many of you are tired. Others have a Christmas week to-do list longer than Santa's Christmas list. What if there's an untapped solution that we're not using enough?
Today’s devotion encourages you to do something most women hate: letting others help. Let me share wisdom from an Old Testament story about Moses’ frustration that inspired today’s devotion. Then I’ll share four ways you can invite others to help lighten your Christmas load.
In Exodus 18, Moses worked from morning until night, sorting out problems for the people. Thankfully, Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, noticed what was happening and said, “What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?” -Exodus 18:14 NLT
Moses replied that he was the one assigned by God to settle the cases and figure out solutions. Moses carried the entire weight of Israelite family conflicts and drama on his shoulders. The mental load and daily responsibility weighed him down. Jethro confronted Moses with this response:
“This is not good. You are going to wear yourself out, and the people too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.” -Exodus 18: 17b–18 NLT
Be honest. Did you need to be called out here as much as Moses did?
Let’s look at what Jethro recommended in Exodus 18:21–23:
“But select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as leaders over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten.
They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you. If you follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace.” (Exodus 18:21–23 NLT)
There was only one Moses but nearly two million Israelites. It was an unreasonable expectation for Moses to believe he could handle everything every day.
Jethro explained that if Moses let go of trying to handle all the problem solving, he would not collapse under pressure, and the people would have peace. Jethro may have recognized that Moses would never be able to help everyone before the end of the day. Unresolved matters would pile up, resulting in chaos, stress, and more conflict.
This passage of Scripture is often taught at leadership conferences for pastors and Christian entrepreneurs. Yet I believe this passage applies to anyone of my beautiful Happy Monday readers who feels the weight of the Christmas season on their shoulders but is reluctant to say no, let go of control, or accept help.
Some of us need to admit that we are trying to be Christmas superwomen. My friend, you are going to wear yourself out and risk creating unnecessary frustration in others. How many of us are driving spouses, friends, or family members bonkers when we say, “I will get to that as soon as I can,” or “I am so sorry, I have not had time to take care of that”?
How can we apply Jethro’s wisdom to our final days before Christmas?
Over the weekend, I celebrated Christmas with my family in my hometown. We had a wonderful time and an afternoon of laughter! On our way home, my daughter, Abbie and I stopped by our town square to take a picture in front of our beloved gazebo.
Your value isn't defined by what you do. In my Stronger Than Stress book we discuss this important principle: “You are a human be-ing, not a human do-ing” Why does this matter at Christmas? Many of us love the compliments that come with all we do at Christmas. We feel noticed and appreciated, so we ignore the stress and overwhelm because the praise boosts our self-esteem. But Christmas is about how Jesus came to earth to be with us. With you. Not so you could perform for the approval of others.
Dear friend, you are seen and deeply loved by God (and me!) for who you are and as you are. You do not need to earn earthly approval by burning yourself out at Christmas.
2. Letting people do things their way. I know at least a few of my Happy Monday readers cringed when reading that. You're anxious that others won't make that family dish or decorate the way you would. Guess what? You're right. But the point of Christmas isn't for everything to look like your vision of Christmas. May I gently suggest that's a tale-tell sign of pride? Instead, let others contribute in their way. This the best way to create closeness and celebrate with those you love. Celebrate their contributions and see their eyes light up!
3. Choose self-care over Christmas superwoman. What's that old saying: “Don't write checks your body can't cash.” When you're pouring from an empty cup (from lack of sleep or stress) at Christmas, your body will pay for it later. Don't treat the body that God gave you like that! Here is a reminder from my Stronger Than Stress book: “God has not called you to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.” If you do nothing else this week, get more sleep. I say that with love and seriousness.
4. Let go of the pressure to make Christmas perfect. Choose presence over perfection. It's okay for you to aside some time to shed the tears over those who won't be coming or expectations that won't happen. Then, let it go. Remember my surrender prayer: “God, I can't, but You can. I will let You.” Then, stop worrying about what you cannot control. What should you do next? Pour your energy into listening and laughing with loved ones. Four words to keep in mind: Stay in the moment.
My challenge to you: From today through Christmas, commit to saying “yes” anytime someone offers to help. Let people help! Or, you can ask for help ten times. While you cannot control their response, but you may be pleasantly surprised by their willingness.
I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU: Why is it hard for you to ask for or accept help? Which of these four suggestions could be most helpful for you right now?
Merry Christmas, Barb
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