Hi Everyone,
First, a big welcome to our new Happy Monday friends from the Aspire Women’s Events. Ladies, I am so glad you are here!
Today, we are tackling the topic I receive the most emails about: how to pray for loved ones who have turned away from God. You are not alone if you are praying for someone to come back to their faith. I'm praying for many loved ones, too!
This devotion is the second in our series on praying for our loved ones. If you missed last week, you can read it
here. We are continuing our journey through the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. Jesus taught this story to demonstrate God’s heart for the lost and how much they matter to Him.
What is so hard when we see our loved ones turn away from God?
- We are upset that they are making unwise or destructive decisions, possibly causing pain to others.
- Our imagination fills with fears for their future, and we may worry that God will hit them with a big whammy.
- We grieve that we no longer connect over the most important part of our lives.
- We are frustrated because all of this is out of our control.
What resonates with you? If you feel deep grief, angry, or frustration, that's okay. But, I'd like for you to stick with me and read on. First, take a deep breath. Hold it. Exhale. Today's devotion gives you space to process how hard this has been for you - and to invite God to speak His truth and comfort into your hurting heart.
Let us step back into the story of the prodigal son. We pick up his story in Luke 15:13: “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living.”
-Luke 15:13 NLT
Did you know the Greek word asótós, used for wild or reckless, means “prodigal”? When people walk away from God, they head down the highway in the opposite direction called, Interstate ME. It's a road filled with pride. As they move along this path, our loved ones may trade prayer for partying or the Bible for other religions. Yet, while they seem happy or relieved, we are often crushed as we watch this happen.
For parents, sometimes, our prodigal kids engage in what I call “loud” or visible sin that they post online for everyone to see. We want to die inside. Even if it's a quiet rebellion, their prodigal behavior pierces our hearts because we feel we raised them better. Many of us are embarrassed. We feel like their rebellion reflects badly on us. Where did we go wrong? What will people at church think?
Some of us have watched siblings, parents, or friends walk way from following Jesus. You tried to talk to them. You warned them. But they turned their back on God, and you are left feeling helpless. It is a terrible feeling.
It's so important to be honest about what you are thinking and feeling. If you need more space to grieve, I have
this resource for you.
Now, let's us consider four reminders about our unsaved loved ones from God’s point of view.
1. God pursues our wayward loved ones. He never loses track of them.
It does not matter how far our loved ones run from God. They can never outrun Him. Think about your loved one right now, then read these verses from Scripture:
“For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.” -Luke 19:10 NLT
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” Jeremiah 31:3 NLT
“I can never escape from your Spirit. I can never get away from your presence!” Psalm 139:7 NLT
The good news is that your loved one can run as far as they want, and they will never outrun God. Just because God allows them to go their own way does not mean He has abandoned them or stopped waiting for them to return. Speak these verses to your heart when fear tries to convince you otherwise.
There is an old poem called The Hound of Heaven, published in 1890 by Catholic poet Francis Thompson. He struggled with addiction and poverty, yet he wrote this poem about God’s tireless pursuit of his soul even as he ran from Him.
God is the Hound of Heaven pursuing your loved one. Do not forget this.
2. Let go of shame or embarrassment. It is time to QTIP!
Maybe you needed today’s devotion just to hear this: you do not need to be ashamed or embarrassed if your loved ones have turned away from God.
If you have been around Happy Monday or completed one of my Bible studies, you know my favorite phrase: QTIP. Quit Taking It Personally.
Just as you cannot carry the responsibility for an unsaved loved one’s salvation, you do not need to carry embarrassment or shame for a backslidden believer’s decision to walk away. Taking responsibility for their choices means you are carrying a lie, and that lie can drag you into hopelessness and shipwreck your faith. Do not let that happen!
When my former spouse struggled with alcoholism, he stopped attending church and his men’s group. I worked on staff at my church, and I was deeply embarrassed during those early years of our family crisis. People constantly asked where he was. I did not want to lie, but I was too embarrassed to tell the truth. Eventually, I told the women in my Bible study group. It was such a relief. Their support empowered me to begin getting the help I needed in Al-Anon and counseling. As time went on, I gained the strength to look people in the eye and calmly say, “He has chosen not to attend church. I am praying for him, and I hope you will pray as well. Thank you.”
I do want to speak to those experiencing emotional or financial consequences because of someone else’s choices. This is when you need support and wise counsel, whether from a Bible study group, trusted friends, or a counselor. There is a difference between not taking something personally and not being safe.
Quit Taking It Personally means you do not have to shoulder embarrassment or blame for someone else’s choices. But if you are not safe or the emotional environment in your home is toxic, do not stay silent.
3. If they are not losing sleep over how they are living, you should not be either
Jesus asks in Matthew 6:27, “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”
Yes, their choices are a serious spiritual matter. But if they are not losing sleep over their decisions, why are you lying awake at night? You cannot change or rescue them. The good news is that God is watching over them, so you can close your eyes and go to sleep.
Worry changes nothing. Worship does. Praising God shifts your focus from what you cannot do to who God is and what He can do. I even have a Spotify playlist called
Pray Like This (listen here) if you need help worshipping more and worrying less.
4. Prayer changes things!
God hears every prayer, but make sure you pray in faith, not fear. Praying in faith means spending more time focused on God instead of spending all your prayer time rehearsing your fears. He already knows. God invites you to surrender your fears and your attempts to control the situation so you can trust Him.
If you need words to pray, here is the simple surrender prayer from my
Stronger Than Stress book:
God, I can’t. But You can. I will let You. Amen.
As we wrap up today’s devotion, let us apply that surrender prayer to our loved ones who are not walking with God. Pray this with me:
God, I cannot change the path that __________ is on right now. My heart grieves that they are so far from You.
Yet there is nothing too hard for You. I know You are a miracle-working God who pursues those who wander. Your Word is a sword that cuts through lies, so I pray that Your Word, already planted in their heart and mind, would come alive. Let it work within them and draw them back to You.
Finally, I release the embarrassment I have been carrying. I surrender my attempts to push or pressure them, and I choose to trust You to work. Amen.
I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU: I hope today’s devotion encouraged and comforted your heart. Which of the four reminders stood out to you? Is there something you wish I had addressed that you are still struggling with?
