Mother of Ease Newsletter No. 11 🤎

Dear Diary,

It is Spring. And I have been born again three times in this season. It only just dawned on me when I sat down to write to you.

My three youngest children - my babies of Spring - are just outside my bedroom window, running barefoot through soft blades of grass and all the delicate flowers of a mother Bradford Pear. She's a marvelous tree. Lets all her Winter modesty go when she's blooming. The scent of her transition is undeniable to those who know. But nature is perfect that way, always gifting us opportunity to stand witness to crossover, you know?

I gave birth to my first and only son, one decade ago in Spring. Just like that tree outside my window. And when time had come, everyone who knew birth, and knew me (my husband and midwife) did too. And a 4cm cervix dilated triage minds when 30 minutes later, he'd made his way earth side. My midwife missed it by a handful of minutes, one nurse stayed behind. She said she'd spent six seasons working in labor and delivery and had never seen a natural birth with her own eyes.

March 2024

I gave birth to my first and only twin, eight years ago in Spring. I found out early on that she would be born solo, science calls that Vanishing Twin Syndrome. She was born in my home state of California, and quite literally at home. Her father caught her in a Hello Kitty beach towel. His wife had waited too late to say yes to calling the new midwife. But what a delightful gift, even after ignoring the signs of things known.

I gave birth to my eternal baby seven Springs ago, three days from now. My midwife asked if I finally believed that I was actually having this baby (I had been questioning out loud) because all of the signs were so very clear. Waters broke. And when she came to air the sister before her, who'd been birthed without her womb mate, cried, “my baby, my baby” and it wet my new mother eyes.

It is Spring. And I have been born again. This time as doula in birth. I am nearby, waiting to witness as flowers bloom and kiss the earth. Where this season gives the signs that it always and forever ought, and a mother is born again.