I never did have a birth doula. Five pregnancies, five labors, five births, five postpartum experiences. I didn't even know there was such thing as a doula, not until my fourth born. And at the time, our finances afforded our midwife (out-of-hospital, out-of-pocket, worth every single penny) and that was that.

 

But what I have always had, always, was and is a supportive partner. This Black man, my husband, the father of our children. I relied on the spirit within me for confidence in navigating my physiological labors - it is largely solo work. And the man who has chosen to love me forever and raise children to adults with me, nurtured the space around. He protected. Made it his ambition to relieve any concern I might have beyond the work that only I could do - bringing the love of our new life earthside.

Each year, the month of June bring us Men's Health month and Father's Day. And I find it of utmost importance that we recognize and celebrate the presence of good men and fathers, that we elevate the narrative of the men who co-create life, show up the way that only they can, and allow recognition of and for their love.

 

Every father client of MOE is and has been everything this America tries to convince him and us that he is not. And this Black woman, wife, mother, and doula is here to announce her witness to who they decidedly are. They are Black men who are hard-working, thoughtful, protective, sensitive, intelligent, kind. Men who remain curious, welcoming of support. Men who advocate for their partners and their children. Men with voices and stories that deserve elevation - 

by any means necessary. 

I was present on a call this month as Charles Johnson, the founder of 4Kira4Moms, announced his vision to "empower fathers with the tools and resources they need through this entire birthing journey" with the forthcoming, 4Kira4Dads and Paternal Centers of Excellence. Charles maintains: “how can a woman be expected to give birth and advocate at the same time?” If you are unfamiliar with this brother's story and the life of his beautiful wife and mother of their children, Kira, make your way to his non-profit to know more, and become an advocate for his mission.   

4kira4moms

Doula dads

What I recall most, when I think of my Dad, was his welcoming of my voice. Whenever we had a difference in opinion, he would say, “Krishon, ima tell you right now that I'm not gonna agree with you, you not gon' change my mind, but ima hear you out.” 

 

He always, always, gave me space to say what I needed to say, in my full voice. It may be much of why I feel empowered to say what I need to say to my husband when I'm frustrated in this world, and when I'm floating in joy in my life. It may be why I feel empowered to advocate for myself, and the ease I find in using my voice to lift the Black men who are present in my life and work. I'm thankful for the father he was to and for me, for his enduring voice in my life, and for the way he always honored my own.

 

Miss you hearing me out, Dad.